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Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27887) - you deserved it (11993)
On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16125) - you deserved it (40859)
On 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by not funny but :( (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59693) - you deserved it (5740)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I showed my aunt and mother my tattoo. They both burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10395) - you deserved it (22519)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by anon - Netherlands (Limburg)
Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32067) - you deserved it (4808)
On 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by InfamousLastWord (woman) - United States
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37354) - you deserved it (3199)
On 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53959) - you deserved it (6547)
On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32046) - you deserved it (4531)
On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8062) - you deserved it (48600)
On 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm - health - by anon - United States
Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24675) - you deserved it (19914)
On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33806) - you deserved it (3096)
On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31131) - you deserved it (1859)
Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25441) - you deserved it (6007)
On 03/08/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by marriage/celibacy/synonymity (man) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl. Who was the only person who cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28099) - you deserved it (1468)
On 03/06/2013 at 5:28pm - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, after house-sitting for a week, I came home to find the house in which I rent a basement suite has all but burned to the ground. My landlord didn't even bother to tell me about the fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24860) - you deserved it (1196)
On 03/06/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by evilsandwich (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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