About mbusey : "Zip your lips like a padlock" - um Ke$ha darling, padlocks don't zip....
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33246) - you deserved it (6246)
On 06/07/2010 at 3:03am - love - by flipflop - United States (California)
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30963) - you deserved it (8785)
On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30963) - you deserved it (8785)
On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States
Today, my boyfriend offered to give me a piggyback ride from the house to the car as means of avoiding walking in mud. Both aware of how tall he is, he crouched extra low and I jumped extra hard. This makes for a terrible example of leapfrog, and a faceplant in the mud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14113) - you deserved it (6290)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I loaded up all of my belongings into my Dad's truck to head back to my home state. After two hours of playing Tetris with my furniture, I threw a tarp over everything and sealed it tight with straps. When I went to start the truck, I couldn't find my keys. There's a chance I just dropped them outside, but my best bet is that they're probably in some nook in the bed of the truck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14502) - you deserved it (3108)
On 03/13/2010 at 2:26pm - misc - by AprilFlowers - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9497) - you deserved it (14426)
On 02/22/2010 at 2:51pm - misc - by sacked (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my best friend became my ex-best friend. I have finally gotten over the guy she stole from me a year ago and have developed a crush on another guy. My best friend called me today to tell me that she broke up with the first guy and is now going out with my current crush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28024) - you deserved it (3278)
On 01/28/2010 at 12:27pm - love - by Cheater_Cheater_Pumpkin_Eater - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had a completely improvised audition for the school play. The director called me and one of the cutest guys auditioning to improvise an intimate scene. Knowing that I'm a complete klutz, I wasn't all that surprised when I tripped over my feet and landed with my face in his crotch. He was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18695) - you deserved it (2625)
On 01/26/2010 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I flew a toy helicopter into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5755) - you deserved it (22267)
On 01/19/2010 at 12:42pm - misc - by magicalDEATH (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I saw Avatar in iMax 3D. Towards the end of the movie I jump, yelled, and spilled my drink all over the people in front of me because I thought a burning piece of ash landed on my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5793) - you deserved it (28710)
On 01/18/2010 at 2:39pm - misc - by burnedboy (man) - United States
Today, I was telling my cousin about my boyfriend, who plays guitar and sings very well, has dark hair, and wears girl pants. After telling her these things, she's quiet for a moment before she looks at me and says, "So... You're dating a Jonas brother?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6316) - you deserved it (28777)
On 01/16/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by kikinemo (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, it was the first time my boyfriend had seen me naked. He grabs my breasts and then begins to sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He is 22. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12594) - you deserved it (3895)
On 01/04/2010 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by ambermcnulty - Sent from mobile version
Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7445) - you deserved it (46258)
On 01/03/2010 at 7:00am - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I had fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13883) - you deserved it (8062)
On 12/29/2009 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26648) - you deserved it (2543)
On 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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