About mbusey : "Zip your lips like a padlock" - um Ke$ha darling, padlocks don't zip....
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35612) - you deserved it (22846)
On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30167) - you deserved it (24879)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I was trying out for my school's athletics team. As I reached the finish line for the 100m sprint, there was so much momentum I couldn't stop. I ended up running into a wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19679) - you deserved it (5761)
On 03/11/2011 at 9:33am - misc - by uncoretard -
Today, I decided to do a word search in my daughter's Hello Kitty coloring book. It took me 30 minutes to find 6 words in a kids coloring book for ages 1 and up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8749) - you deserved it (23646)
On 02/27/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by ldbella - United States
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27092) - you deserved it (2441)
On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10766) - you deserved it (44642)
On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24777) - you deserved it (1744)
On 02/08/2011 at 4:39pm - health - by scratchy -
Today, I was driving to a blind date my friend set me up on. Feeling pretty excited, I started singing to Katy Perry. I look over to see a man laughing at me, I flipped him the bird and drove off. Little did I know, he was my date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9386) - you deserved it (27829)
On 01/24/2011 at 3:08am - love - by unknown - United States (California)
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24751) - you deserved it (15686) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, we got a speeding ticket in the mail with my drunk daughter's picture on it. She was waving at the camera. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20869) - you deserved it (3816)
On 01/15/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18258) - you deserved it (2808)
On 01/09/2011 at 6:11am - health - by whitey (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her facebook once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6249) - you deserved it (36328)
On 12/29/2010 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10175) - you deserved it (20396)
On 12/19/2010 at 5:28am - love - by lonelyengineer (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
Today, my car heater finally died. I deliver pizzas. In Alaska. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35298) - you deserved it (3382)
On 12/17/2010 at 12:30pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I flew into Denver. Never being here before, I was excited to see the view from our window. In the middle seat, I leaned over to look - at the same time yawning to relieve pressure in my ears. The yawning caused me to drool on the stranger sitting next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5844) - you deserved it (17293)
On 11/30/2010 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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