About mbusey : "Zip your lips like a padlock" - um Ke$ha darling, padlocks don't zip....
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15858) - you deserved it (7322)
On 08/16/2011 at 12:55pm - work - by secret dancer (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)
Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31176) - you deserved it (2512)
On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28885) - you deserved it (8539)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I discovered my new plug-in air freshener smells exactly like my ex-boyfriend's cologne. My friends noticed this, and nobody will believe me when I say it smelled different on the scratch-and-sniff. Now I'm considered a creep. A nostalgic, obsessed creep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21744) - you deserved it (4983)
On 07/15/2011 at 7:10pm - love - by Creep (woman) - United States (Puerto Rico)
Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (9586)
On 07/10/2011 at 10:34pm - health - by muffintop (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8435) - you deserved it (57420) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34798) - you deserved it (2648)
On 07/02/2011 at 10:15pm - love - by lostbandana - United States
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10632) - you deserved it (35857)
On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10753) - you deserved it (23218)
On 06/02/2011 at 6:05am - misc - by ohcrap - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48138) - you deserved it (3252)
On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28535) - you deserved it (13491)
Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9580) - you deserved it (32733)
On 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by lionhead14 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28308) - you deserved it (13112)
On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14764) - you deserved it (20518)
On 04/15/2011 at 7:47am - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17475) - you deserved it (11464)
On 04/13/2011 at 3:05am - animals - by Username -
Friday 24 May 2013
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