About mbusey : "Zip your lips like a padlock" - um Ke$ha darling, padlocks don't zip....
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18143) - you deserved it (15224)
On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States
Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20472) - you deserved it (1630)
On 12/09/2011 at 12:22am - love - by thatisnotcool45 - Canada
Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the restaurant I work at. That was the highlight of my day. Apparently my life has gotten so boring I get excited over colored toothpicks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15531) - you deserved it (2957)
On 12/08/2011 at 2:30am - work - by dulllife - United States (Texas)
Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob’s called. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20246) - you deserved it (2021)
On 12/06/2011 at 7:26am - work - by boobywaitress (woman) - Australia
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22754) - you deserved it (6679)
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27850) - you deserved it (6253)
On 11/04/2011 at 12:29am - love - by fmlifer - United States (California)
Today, I saw a group of attractive guys at the mall. One of them looked exactly like a friend, so I decided to take a picture. Trying to be discreet, I put my phone up to my ear as if I was making a phone call, and pressed the capture button. The flash went off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6301) - you deserved it (29075)
On 10/30/2011 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24259) - you deserved it (5145)
On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24810) - you deserved it (3920) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24442) - you deserved it (2762)
On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9003) - you deserved it (29760)
On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44854) - you deserved it (1874)
On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML
I agree, your life sucks (10055) - you deserved it (21224)
On 09/22/2011 at 9:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25227) - you deserved it (1751)
On 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm - kids - by why?! (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19556) - you deserved it (2261)
On 08/24/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Meagan smith - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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