About mbusey : "Zip your lips like a padlock" - um Ke$ha darling, padlocks don't zip....
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21401) - you deserved it (4321)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States
Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17292) - you deserved it (16211)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23012) - you deserved it (6918)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17469) - you deserved it (1304)
On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14476) - you deserved it (8476)
On 02/28/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by poop - United States
Today, I came back from a holiday and the friend who'd been looking after my cats returned my spare key. When I wanted to put some relaxing music on, I noticed that he'd switched most of my CDs around in their cases. I have over a thousand of them. Very funny, thanks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16019) - you deserved it (2960)
On 02/23/2012 at 6:52pm - misc - by Veryfunny (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19207) - you deserved it (11679)
On 02/09/2012 at 11:42am - health - by SocialAnxietyNightmare (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15185) - you deserved it (2282)
On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, at school, I was crying because someone I knew had died. My teacher pulled me aside and said, "I understand you're socially awkward, but don't worry it gets better." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27541) - you deserved it (1798)
On 01/26/2012 at 6:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, at school, I was crying because someone I knew had died. My teacher pulled me aside and said, "I understand you're socially awkward, but don't worry it gets better." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27541) - you deserved it (1798)
On 01/26/2012 at 6:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19007) - you deserved it (4311)
On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29918) - you deserved it (1976)
On 01/18/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by meh - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18976) - you deserved it (1631)
On 01/14/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by ohlordhelpmenow (woman) - United States
Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31423) - you deserved it (2150)
On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it's my anniversary. I've been a single cat-lady for exactly one year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20741) - you deserved it (5937)
On 01/09/2012 at 11:56am - love - by catlady (woman) - United Kingdom (Bexley)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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