About mbusey : "Zip your lips like a padlock" - um Ke$ha darling, padlocks don't zip....
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18906) - you deserved it (2099)
On 06/13/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by sopissed - United States (Maryland)
Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34122) - you deserved it (2875)
On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18773) - you deserved it (2420)
On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24705) - you deserved it (13469)
On 06/10/2012 at 5:16am - love - by fernie vazquez - United States (California)
Today, I was having a debate with my friend, who actually believes karma is real. He got very angry with me and stormed off, tripping over his own feet in the process. I laughed and asked what he'd done in a past life to deserve that one. He responded by getting up and punching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6906) - you deserved it (23507)
On 06/07/2012 at 5:26pm - health - by sh3n-D (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)
Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18083) - you deserved it (3503)
On 06/02/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by lol112 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I couldn't find my hairbrush anywhere; I ended up having to brush my hair with a fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14211) - you deserved it (4633)
On 05/31/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by jemila (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22804) - you deserved it (2307) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23184) - you deserved it (3054) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm - kids - by Aldoch -
Today, I got stuck in a three-hour traffic jam because I sneezed and missed the road I was meant to take. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16841) - you deserved it (2980)
On 05/29/2012 at 6:24pm - misc - by blocked (man) - United States
Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11022) - you deserved it (19368)
On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31307) - you deserved it (2939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23520) - you deserved it (2509)
On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my wife made my hand bleed by stabbing it with a fork. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10586) - you deserved it (18967) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/08/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by Mouhahaa (man) - France
Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22804) - you deserved it (4921)
On 05/06/2012 at 2:01pm - love - by Bridget (woman) - United Kingdom
Monday 20 May 2013
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