About mbusey : "Zip your lips like a padlock" - um Ke$ha darling, padlocks don't zip....
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52810) - you deserved it (9988)
On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39145) - you deserved it (10529)
On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46047) - you deserved it (2040)
On 08/11/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41505) - you deserved it (5717)
On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9434) - you deserved it (38285)
On 08/10/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by klutz (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
I agree, your life sucks (64755) - you deserved it (5045)
On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
I agree, your life sucks (64755) - you deserved it (5045)
On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
I agree, your life sucks (64755) - you deserved it (5045)
On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52276) - you deserved it (2845)
On 08/09/2009 at 9:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was pretending to use the force to operate the elevator at my hotel, getting really into it. Someone was waiting to get on at my floor and saw me. Not to mention the staff now brings it up every time I'm around. Apparently they have cameras in their elevators. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6345) - you deserved it (34275)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:16pm - misc - by beckzx58 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, a very good platonic friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said 'Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!' When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said 'You've made me the happiest man alive' as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20735) - you deserved it (74476)
On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31395) - you deserved it (2986)
On 07/29/2009 at 11:17pm - misc - by arsenic660 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37715) - you deserved it (7061)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by fedexed (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17854) - you deserved it (41590)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was shopping at COSTCO for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me I heard somebody say "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42847) - you deserved it (6676)
On 07/23/2009 at 1:23am - love - by costcocondoms (man) - Mexico (Baja California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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