About mbusey : "Zip your lips like a padlock" - um Ke$ha darling, padlocks don't zip....
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23995) - you deserved it (1448)
On 12/18/2009 at 3:46pm - health - by ThatAintLogical (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21858) - you deserved it (2952)
On 12/12/2009 at 11:39pm - misc - by Normal (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7449) - you deserved it (19810)
On 11/26/2009 at 4:22am - animals - by MouseChaser (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25159) - you deserved it (4444)
On 11/21/2009 at 3:28am - love - by SeeBrendenBurn (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9178) - you deserved it (29093)
On 11/17/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by Araya (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33294) - you deserved it (1916)
On 11/14/2009 at 7:59am - love - by Indoraptor (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27810) - you deserved it (14811)
On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up to find my face all red and swollen. Turns out it is caused by the medication I’ve been taking for over a week now. Only in very rare cases it will cause redness on your skin. I’m glad to know I’m special. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20302) - you deserved it (2049)
On 10/24/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by sexyswollen (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6542) - you deserved it (29579)
On 10/17/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Ohgreat (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40857) - you deserved it (2980)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9312) - you deserved it (37225)
On 09/25/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Needasafe1234 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at work and my mother texted me. The text read, "You take a nice picture." To which I responded, "what picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You are even smiling." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7026) - you deserved it (35162)
On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by asdfas (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I met some of my boyfriend's family for the first time. His aunt said I was really cute, which made me happy. As we were leaving I said "Your aunt thought I was cute." His reply..."Yeah, well, my aunt's on drugs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36542) - you deserved it (2869)
On 09/06/2009 at 5:33pm - love - by me (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, as I was getting into work, I saw a co-worker of mine walking in front of me. We're really good friends and we joke around a lot, so I jokingly whistled at him and slapped his butt. Turns out it wasn't my friend, it was the new guy. Hello, sexual harassment charges. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20283) - you deserved it (10636)
On 08/23/2009 at 12:48am - work - by introuble (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14712) - you deserved it (34430)
On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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