About mbusey : "Zip your lips like a padlock" - um Ke$ha darling, padlocks don't zip....
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11221) - you deserved it (22280)
On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14786) - you deserved it (2267)
On 08/15/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by larSON5 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to allow the cats to sleep with us on the bed. As we started to cuddle, one of the cats pissed right in between us. We are sleeping on the couch until the baking soda absorbs the smell in the mattress. I'll be sleeping there longer than that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6451) - you deserved it (16917)
On 08/09/2012 at 8:02pm - animals - by couchsurfer - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at work when a cute guy came up to me and said he liked my shirt. In a desperate attempt to say something back, I said, "Thanks, I like your shoelaces." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15902) - you deserved it (4301)
On 07/19/2012 at 6:31pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4584) - you deserved it (12988)
On 07/17/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17470) - you deserved it (3216)
On 07/15/2012 at 11:12am - love - by SwAGkiLlS - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18389) - you deserved it (1589)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm - work - by Ian Artis - United States
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5350) - you deserved it (21257)
On 07/09/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50722) - you deserved it (3669)
On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6182) - you deserved it (14939)
Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16137) - you deserved it (4966)
On 06/23/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17956) - you deserved it (2823)
On 06/17/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by historyfreak_17 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I tried to go to the gym, but I ended up watching cat videos on YouTube for three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7567) - you deserved it (24134)
On 06/15/2012 at 7:27am - health - by latino14 - United States (Maryland)
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4632) - you deserved it (26555)
On 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)
Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9770) - you deserved it (15629)
On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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