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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1792
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About maz_irken : I love

•Invader Zim
•Doctor Who
•Star Trek
•The Saxophone

I use mobile, so don't message me :P

maz_irken's page activity

Visits<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 11:50am<b>Mipam</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 4:24am<b>talon327</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 9:31pm<b>chuka81</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 6:15am<b>guskta</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 11:05am<b>AnonymousKrew</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 7:34am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 3:52pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:53pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 6:04am<b>oreily12</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 10:48am<b>weedle99</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 3:28pm<b>carlyggibby</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 9:07pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 8:23pm<b>littlejimmy</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 2:44pm<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 4:18pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 3:01am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 4:20am<b>spawnthrasher</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 1:08pm

Fucked!<b>Coolaidegirl</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 4:20am

maz_irken's FML badges

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maz_irken's favorite FMLs

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

by ihncredible / 12/10/2012 at 6:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

by May / 09/04/2011 at 12:08am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML

by whatdidIdo / 09/03/2011 at 1:33am / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2011 at 6:20pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

by rochellamaya / 09/02/2011 at 8:47am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

by SoupCanoe / 08/29/2011 at 4:33am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Health

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML

by MissArizona / 08/08/2011 at 10:12am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it that much!" FML

by Taylor D / 08/07/2011 at 12:40am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

by Tim / 08/06/2011 at 10:49pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

by FML! / 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

by whatnot / 08/04/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

by soccerbuddyz / 08/03/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous