maz255

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maz255

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 September 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 3000
  • Number of comments : 177
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About maz255 : Well, what can I say?
I love fairness and hate bigotry...
A7x FTW

"who you callin' pinhead?"

maz255's page activity

Visits<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 8:31am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 4:13pm<b>Alex5074</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 8:27am<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 7:48am<b>kmack1996</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:55am<b>CRAZYCOW777</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:36pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 7:02pm<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 6:34pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 2:16am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 11:41pm<b>Catkam623</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 5:38pm<b>meepmerp</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 4:31pm<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 2:30pm<b>Angel1000168</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 2:39am<b>CVTTRVN</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 3:40am<b>Pyro_Wolf</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 8:18pm<b>tylerhartig</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 12:51am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 10:27am

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maz255's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me a magic trick. He filled a bowl with wine, pushed it on top of the ceiling using a broom stick, and held it up there. He told me to hold it and left. Taking my hands off the broomstick would cause the bowl to fall on my expensive new suit. Eventually, it did. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 10:57am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm / South Africa / Animals

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Florida) / Geek

Today, I accidentally set off an alarm at the school I work for. No one was there, I didn't have the code or password the company needed, my boss wouldn't answer his phone, 3 policemen interrogated me and asked for ID but realized I left home without my wallet. There was nothing I could do. I cried. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2010 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2010 at 12:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

by single / 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I asked my fiancé what he liked most about being in a relationship with me. His answer? "I can watch your boobs without being called a perv." FML

by redlips / 11/09/2010 at 1:06pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Intimacy

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 5:18am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, for once, I managed to get my boyfriend's mind off the hockey game. I muted the TV and cuddled up to him. Only thirty seconds into snuggling, he shoved me onto the floor and screamed, "GOAL!" FML

by Fatality / 10/28/2010 at 12:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, I fainted because of a condition I have. My husband, who was standing right there, failed to catch me because he didn't want to drop his yogurt. FML

by anon / 10/12/2010 at 5:52pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

by cantstoplaughing / 10/06/2010 at 12:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous