Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

may651

Offline (the 02/25/2015 at 4:19am) | Search for a member

may651

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2381
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About may651 : One of the real ones.

Message me and ask. I am a stand up girl.

may651's page activity

Visits<b>CynicallyAlive</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:46pm<b>Classy1335</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 10:10pm<b>nataliewby</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 3:17pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 7:28pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:41am<b>RockyRacoon</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:56am<b>Angelinaa44</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 7:20pm<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 5:31am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 2:46pm<b>IJG2000</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:52am<b>Amysparkles97</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:45am<b>loyaltyiskey</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 12:51am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 3:30pm<b>fuckercakes</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 8:36am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:40pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 8:10pm<b>rustydiamonds</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 2:02pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 2:46pm

may651's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of may651's badges

may651's favorite FMLs

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25630) - you deserved it (2857)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25992) - you deserved it (5081) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

#19484170
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27124) - you deserved it (3871)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML

#19409993
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9639) - you deserved it (39208)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Badchristian (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my house caught on fire. The firefighters said that it was caused by a lit cigarette on the carpet. I don't smoke, but apparently my 13 year old son does. FML

#19370101
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34320) - you deserved it (3674)

On 03/29/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by no one - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26912) - you deserved it (4452)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, I got my braces put on. This is the second time I've had them. The first time was after my cousin opened a car door in my face. This time a jock punched me in the mouth for saying that Reese's taste the same as Snickers peanut butter. FML

#19277494
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27231) - you deserved it (6431)

On 03/14/2012 at 4:12pm - health - by braceface - United States

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

#19250410
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38792) - you deserved it (5564)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

#19240246
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14565) - you deserved it (52642)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15748) - you deserved it (52888)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML

#19237807
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9506) - you deserved it (22281)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by wtf - United States

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

#19205333
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23441) - you deserved it (1916)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17956) - you deserved it (45936)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told a customer that we don't do refunds. He responded by throwing his wallet at my face and accusing me of stealing it. FML

#19187266
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25022) - you deserved it (2118)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:47am - work - by wallets - United States

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37149) - you deserved it (5504)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: