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may651

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may651
  • Town/Country : texas , United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 857
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About may651 : One of the real ones.

Message me and ask. I am a stand up girl.

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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may651's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

#19982177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27042) - you deserved it (3913)

On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

#19942412
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33122) - you deserved it (3042)

On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

#19936728
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15693) - you deserved it (4002)

On 07/14/2012 at 10:43am - health - by Anonymous - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML

#19933084
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20163) - you deserved it (1649)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm - work - by fucking pissants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22109) - you deserved it (2535)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30682) - you deserved it (3891)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15537) - you deserved it (32892)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML

#19872110
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20738) - you deserved it (2032)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:09pm - love - by ohbiebjetaime (woman) - France

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

#19867923
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (3754)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16458) - you deserved it (4525)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

#19791945
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26572) - you deserved it (2183)

On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

#19787973
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6089) - you deserved it (36935)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML

#19764297
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23465) - you deserved it (2521)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by eddie818 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents think it's so hot outside that it's okay for them to work in the garden naked. FML

#19692459
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27749) - you deserved it (2018)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:15am - misc - by Ladieda (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

#19676942
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4893) - you deserved it (28394)

On 05/25/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Karate Kid (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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