may651

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Offline (the 02/25/2015 at 4:19am)

may651

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 3190
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About may651 : One of the real ones.

Message me and ask. I am a stand up girl.

may651's page activity

Visits<b>jairolover</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 11:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 2:03pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 2:24am<b>yellow33</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 6:44pm<b>SunshineBoy</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:27am<b>Masturdebater</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 9:29am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:05am<b>jade_midori</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 11:19am<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 5:00pm<b>ajaxbuds25</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 3:14am<b>youdumbstick</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 2:29am<b>moodyreallyrocks</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 12:05pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 1:35pm<b>Tommy214</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:55pm<b>CynicallyAlive</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:46pm<b>Classy1335</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 10:10pm<b>nataliewby</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 3:17pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 7:28pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 7:29pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 6:10pm

may651's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of may651's badges

may651's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

by Skidmark Sally / 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML

by Joey / 10/06/2012 at 1:57am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that at age 54, I'm no longer young enough to go commando anymore. Every time I sneezed today, I peed myself. FML

by Darla / 10/05/2012 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my mom decided to subtly bring up her desire for grandchildren. "You really need a girlfriend. I'm surprised you don't have a crippling case of Carpal Tunnel by now." FML

by alittlepersonal / 10/05/2012 at 1:59am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML

by Dave / 10/04/2012 at 10:44am / United States / Love

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

by whatswrongwithit?:( / 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

by GEE, THANKS DAD / 09/28/2012 at 6:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML

by emilyhendrix0414 / 09/28/2012 at 6:53am / United States / Animals

Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML

by red_headforlife / 09/28/2012 at 1:34am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML

by annoyed / 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML

by dontrapeme / 09/26/2012 at 6:30am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML

by foreveralone / 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2012 at 2:24am / United States / Health