About may651 : One of the real ones.
Lol I am the girl if you are retarded and don't see the Miss.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15745) - you deserved it (2331)
On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)
Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24271) - you deserved it (1056)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)
Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18003) - you deserved it (10782)
On 11/06/2012 at 5:03pm - love - by new name (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23943) - you deserved it (2256)
On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16083) - you deserved it (850)
On 11/03/2012 at 1:34am - health - by jdch_99 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22072) - you deserved it (1554)
On 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7100) - you deserved it (50846)
On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17267) - you deserved it (2927)
On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States
Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20970) - you deserved it (2047)
On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -
Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20919) - you deserved it (565)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5993) - you deserved it (8043)
On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)
Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14983) - you deserved it (814)
On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37780) - you deserved it (1579)
On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19291) - you deserved it (1938)
On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18291) - you deserved it (912)
On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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