About may651 : One of the real ones.
Message me and ask. I am a stand up girl.
About may651 : One of the real ones.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
may651's favorite FMLs
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading". FML
by Anonymous / 11/18/2011 at 6:36pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 9:06am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by so romantic / 11/12/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Nixontones / 10/14/2011 at 11:09am / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML
by scewable / 10/13/2011 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by breakinphones / 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find my Dad cheating on his new wife of six weeks. With my own mother who was supposedly dating "a real catch". Should I be happy that my parents love each other or pissed off that they're both whores? I can't decide. FML
by wheresthelove / 12/30/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
by dumbo / 07/30/2009 at 10:43am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, I thought my boyfriend of 6 years was going to propose to me. We're highschool sweethearts and he was my first. Just when he was looking into my eyes he says, " I've been seeing someone else for 2 years and I'm choosing her over you... it was a tough decision". FML
by imaloser / 07/06/2009 at 7:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
by dirtyhands / 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…