About may651 : One of the real ones.
Message me and ask. I am a stand up girl.
About may651 : One of the real ones.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
may651's favorite FMLs
Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML
by coleslaw / 02/03/2012 at 12:25am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML
by smith / 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm / United Kingdom (York) / Health
by jjs51 / 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Transportation
Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML
by Sadfaic / 01/22/2012 at 9:59pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/19/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML
by littlelottie / 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by maruskasommers / 01/09/2012 at 4:39am / Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML
by 3peeps / 12/30/2011 at 2:13am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML
by wow / 12/11/2011 at 8:37pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by inpain / 12/02/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Animals
by preggers / 11/30/2011 at 9:57am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, after working for over ten years at a dead-end factory line, I told my friends I was going to take some business courses and land myself a real job. All they've done since is laugh, mock me, and say that if Clinton couldn't fix the economy, I have no chance. FML
by workworkwork / 11/25/2011 at 8:37pm / United States (Florida) / Geek
Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML
by Charles Pennington / 11/22/2011 at 6:36am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Tyler / 11/19/2011 at 3:05am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, I was playing video games when my balls felt itchy. I had been sick for the past few days so… Today, I was in the middle of watching this awesome show on Hulu. I was halfway through the season… Today, while showing a group of guys my heavy bag routine at the gym, I attempted to perform a high…