About may651 : One of the real ones.
Lol I am the girl if you are retarded and don't see the Miss.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11686) - you deserved it (14937)
On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5031) - you deserved it (37388)
On 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by smith (man) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30421) - you deserved it (2438)
On 01/27/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34371) - you deserved it (2515)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24169) - you deserved it (1187)
On 01/22/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Sadfaic (man) - United States
Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6192) - you deserved it (33222)
On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28584) - you deserved it (2321)
On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25393) - you deserved it (1685)
On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)
Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15987) - you deserved it (2488)
On 12/30/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by 3peeps - United States
Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25091) - you deserved it (3456)
On 12/11/2011 at 8:37pm - love - by wow (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17273) - you deserved it (4876)
On 12/02/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by inpain - United States (California)
Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23541) - you deserved it (3029)
On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)
Today, after working for over ten years at a dead-end factory line, I told my friends I was going to take some business courses and land myself a real job. All they've done since is laugh, mock me, and say that if Clinton couldn't fix the economy, I have no chance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15805) - you deserved it (1802)
On 11/25/2011 at 8:37pm - work - by workworkwork - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21433) - you deserved it (2058)
On 11/22/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by Charles Pennington (man) - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32223) - you deserved it (23580)
On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
