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maximumCrazy

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maximumCrazy

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1194
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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maximumCrazy's page activity

Visits<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 10:25pm

maximumCrazy's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of maximumCrazy's badges

maximumCrazy's favorite FMLs

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32794) - you deserved it (6564)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I received a phone call from the counselor at my son's preschool, requesting that I come pick him up. He was barking incessantly at his classmates. And when they asked him to stop, he growled. FML

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28428) - you deserved it (3761)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

#21334531
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24231) - you deserved it (4265)

On 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was sitting at my computer, petting one of my cats, who was sitting on my lap. My other cat got jealous and tried to climb onto my lap as well. They ended up fighting. I was wearing shorts. FML

#21333736
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27443) - you deserved it (3681)

On 01/09/2015 at 1:44am - animals - by Crazy Cat Guy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35424) - you deserved it (6671)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

#21329462
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34307) - you deserved it (6815)

On 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by I'll Make You FartCum (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML

#21328812
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24904) - you deserved it (6678)

On 01/01/2015 at 6:02pm - misc - by CK95 - United States

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

#21328278
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40851) - you deserved it (3226)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:47am - love - by Proposal Fail - United States (New York)

Today, I met my new roommate. I hadn't even gotten her name yet, because the first thing she said to me instead was that she wanted to hang her confederate flag on the wall. I'm black. FML

#21326235
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35543) - you deserved it (4294)

On 12/29/2014 at 12:00am - misc - by okay17 - United States

Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML

#21324815
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14319) - you deserved it (35052)

On 12/26/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I took my Spanish exam. One of the questions was to translate "Mark is lazy and antisocial." My name is Mark. Everyone kept giving me weird looks the whole test. FML

#21316211
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29046) - you deserved it (2288)

On 12/12/2014 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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