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max5692

Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 3:38pm) | Search for a member

max5692

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 February 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 189
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About max5692 : Damn it feels good to be a gangsta

max5692's page activity

Visits<b>papas760</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:44pm<b>baxeh</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 1:21pm<b>loveexgirl</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:38am<b>91hayek</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:01am

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max5692's favorite FMLs

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

#21260160
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34131) - you deserved it (3891)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

#21242605
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46131) - you deserved it (5169)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML

#21242576
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37938) - you deserved it (4919)

On 08/21/2014 at 4:16pm - work - by jalisc512 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38728) - you deserved it (12845)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML

#21232655
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44199) - you deserved it (6781)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML

#21200603
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42484) - you deserved it (3936)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by idiot bro (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

#21183245
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44673) - you deserved it (6543)

On 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

#21182483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44401) - you deserved it (13821)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by misoranomegami (woman) - United States

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51068) - you deserved it (5915)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

#21180887
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45371) - you deserved it (4715)

On 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm - love - by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

#21180513
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45973) - you deserved it (7671)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:33am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56047) - you deserved it (4428)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52415) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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