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max5692

Offline (the 06/16/2014 at 6:38pm) | Search for a member

max5692

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 February 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 32
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About max5692 : Damn it feels good to be a gangsta

max5692's page activity

Visits<b>loveexgirl</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:38am<b>91hayek</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:01am

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max5692's favorite FMLs

Today, at my local amusement park, I decided it'd be fun to meet someone on the roller coaster by sitting alone and hoping that someone nice would sit next to me. I rode the roller coaster 7 times. I sat alone each time. FML

#21202986
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39286) - you deserved it (11897)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML

#21200603
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42009) - you deserved it (3919)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by idiot bro (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was screamed at by a lady for riding my bike too slowly in front of her car. I was in the bike lane, and so was she. FML

#21186463
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44129) - you deserved it (4059)

On 06/24/2014 at 11:04am - misc - by lrn2road - United States (California)

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

#21183245
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44195) - you deserved it (6472)

On 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

#21182483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42380) - you deserved it (13239)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by misoranomegami (woman) - United States

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50813) - you deserved it (5891)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

#21180887
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44634) - you deserved it (4635)

On 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm - love - by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

#21180513
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45626) - you deserved it (7639)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:33am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54504) - you deserved it (4311)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51845) - you deserved it (4562)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend's grandma took me to his house to hang out. I then heard her in the kitchen telling his mom how hard she tried to leave me at the nearest gas station. FML

Today, I got called a slut. I don't know what is worse, the fact I was called it or that I felt strangely flattered that the person thought I was getting any. FML

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

#21176688
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43909) - you deserved it (9907)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

#21173084
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45364) - you deserved it (5435)

On 06/13/2014 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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