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max367

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max367
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  • Number of visits : 1265
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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max367's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML

#18200720
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23693) - you deserved it (3424)

On 11/09/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by blacktyaffair - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48693) - you deserved it (6225)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML

#18200183
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26415) - you deserved it (11437)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:27am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking down the road when a twat on a quad-bike smashed into my leg. It seems that I should've been "walking on the right side of the pavement." FML

#18199894
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17822) - you deserved it (2926)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:57am - misc - by LukeyBoy - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with her male friends. FML

#18192862
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43898) - you deserved it (6223)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by explainer (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35899) - you deserved it (3594)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30791) - you deserved it (5842)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML

#18188542
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29337) - you deserved it (2426)

On 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by lprocter1982 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my soon to be ex-husband is going to be a father. We spent our entire marriage unsuccessfully trying for a baby. The mother of his unborn child isn't his new girlfriend, but someone else he was cheating on her with. Our divorce isn't even finalized yet. FML

#18184829
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31538) - you deserved it (2613)

On 11/07/2011 at 3:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML

#18181651
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25893) - you deserved it (4505)

On 11/07/2011 at 2:20am - love - by roadkill0321 - United States

Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML

#18181651
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25893) - you deserved it (4505)

On 11/07/2011 at 2:20am - love - by roadkill0321 - United States

Today, on the subway, a woman got off without her suitcase. I grabbed the case, chased her onto the platform, and shouted, "You forgot your suitcase!" while the doors closed behind me. In actual fact, it wasn't her suitcase, and its actual owner was still on the train. FML

#18162360
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28008) - you deserved it (9568) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/05/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by Lavalise - France

Today, on the subway, a woman got off without her suitcase. I grabbed the case, chased her onto the platform, and shouted, "You forgot your suitcase!" while the doors closed behind me. In actual fact, it wasn't her suitcase, and its actual owner was still on the train. FML

#18162360
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28008) - you deserved it (9568) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/05/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by Lavalise - France

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

#18150713
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38887) - you deserved it (3511)

On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

#18150713
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38887) - you deserved it (3511)

On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States



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