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max367

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max367
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  • Number of visits : 1276
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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max367's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally stood up to a bully who had been messing with me for over a year. His response? He picked up the chair I was sitting in and threw me across the room. FML

#10740
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30824) - you deserved it (3324)

On 02/05/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was okay. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML

#7761
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7957) - you deserved it (27560)

On 02/04/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by suicide (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "i'm bored." FML

#7619
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35256) - you deserved it (5534)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by na (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, in biology class, I kept seeing a fly mosquito buzzing past my face and I kept trying to swat at it... only to realize that it was a ceiling sprinkler that was about 10 feet away. I have no depth perception. FML

#7338
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11598) - you deserved it (13444)

On 02/04/2009 at 5:56am - animals - by Mith (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)

Today, I am going to an event where I will be meeting quite a few people who will be excellent contacts in my future career. Since I wanted to make a good impression, I did the whole makeup and grooming thing before setting out, I accidentally removed about half my left eyebrow. FML

#5776
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13757) - you deserved it (5432)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:10pm - work - by wiseoldone - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that the dog humping my leg was the most action I've gotten in months. FML

#5320
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38233) - you deserved it (7038)

On 02/02/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by a-non (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came into work with a new hair cut and so far everyone has asked me If I lost a bet. FML

#5127
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22514) - you deserved it (2663)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:39am - work - by Xpresss - United States (California)

Today, I asked my mother if she thought my cat was getting fat. She replied "It's not the cat you should worry about". FML

#5051
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19864) - you deserved it (4448)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:22pm - animals - by mikep - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

#4860
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8216) - you deserved it (49344)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

#3882
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6165) - you deserved it (36052)

On 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm - animals - by jf29 - United States (Ohio)

Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML

#2857
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5086) - you deserved it (16677)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14817) - you deserved it (65965)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML

#2324
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20341) - you deserved it (2790)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Nik - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says "What's for dinner?". FML

#2177
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5596) - you deserved it (20991)

On 01/22/2009 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML

#2075
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14761) - you deserved it (9031)

On 01/21/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)



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