Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

max367

Online | Search for a member

max367

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5594
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

max367's page activity

Visits<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - 4 hours ago<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:12am<b>clairedabear</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 11:00pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 9:38am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:08pm<b>cheyyeee</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 6:34pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:46pm<b>mrningbrd</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 12:24pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 11:50am<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:58am<b>GxReaperGx</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 1:20pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 7:42am<b>zMEEHANz</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 7:49pm<b>justdontdoit</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:00am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 1:49am<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 7:07pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 9:19am<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 9:35am

Fucked!<b>clairedabear</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 5:00am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:08am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:57am

max367's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of max367's badges

max367's favorite FMLs

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52537) - you deserved it (98532)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML

#264253
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32150) - you deserved it (58621)

On 03/10/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML

#243241
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40403) - you deserved it (11829)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by fashionVictim (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

#242557
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53585) - you deserved it (10135)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

#232857
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25808) - you deserved it (158044)

On 03/07/2009 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Mulee (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I went to the ER for severe pain in my abdominal area. The doctor comes in after looking at the CT scan and says, "Well it's not your appendix." Thinking I'm in the clear I say, "That's Awesome", the doctor then responded with "It's probably your testicles." FML

Today, I was working at Target when an old woman asked me if I could help her find her favorite bra. I asked what brand it was when she replied "I'll check the tag". She lifted up the front of her shirt, and flipped one cup of her bra inside out. I saw everything. FML

#228106
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62055) - you deserved it (3850)

On 03/06/2009 at 6:11pm - work - by laurenmay (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

#217290
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25451) - you deserved it (131542)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:33pm - health - by ubbernoob (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, during my choral concert, I was helping turn the pages for the pianist who was accompanying the singers. In the middle of the song, one of the pages slipped and fell into his crotch area. In a panic, I frantically reached to grab the music. Well, I grabbed something. It wasn't the music. FML

#213399
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38385) - you deserved it (11838)

On 03/04/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by a person - United States (California)

Today, while getting off the bus, there was a lady in front of me wearing a dress and suddenly her phone dropped out of her bag. I picked up the phone for her which landed right beneath her dress and as she turned around she thought I was trying to take pictures of her panties and slapped me. FML

#204015
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46489) - you deserved it (4316)

On 03/04/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by AznKoreanGuy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of no where and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says "I always knew you were a whore." FML

#185042
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62535) - you deserved it (17192)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by Stairway2Heaven - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML

#168595
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74461) - you deserved it (285301)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Sad (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom bought me a t-shirt from the store. It has the U.S. Marines logo on it and says "Marines' Girlfriend". I'm a straight 16 year old boy and my mom only reads and speaks Spanish. FML

#168522
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55596) - you deserved it (4286)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Elis (man) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: