Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

max367

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

max367

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8334
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

max367's page activity

Visits<b>Sleep_lover654</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 1:43pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 1:20pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:42am<b>nodeathtoall</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:30pm<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 9:05pm<b>idk0002</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 2:08pm<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:54pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 9:42pm<b>NerdyTherapist</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 5:16pm<b>derangedplanet</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 9:04pm<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 11:19pm<b>thisguy22</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 3:48am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 7:02am<b>meghancuma</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 9:41pm<b>shnoel14</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 3:02pm<b>alaillama</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:46am<b>pandoraisme</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:24pm

Fucked!<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 3:06am<b>KatPlaysMC</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:36am<b>Chaith</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 12:15am<b>clairedabear</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 5:00am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:08am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:57am

max367's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of max367's badges

max367's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

#5930750
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15040) - you deserved it (32225)

On 10/21/2009 at 5:03pm - kids - by holy (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML

#5876533
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45595) - you deserved it (2736)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Norrbottens Lan)

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

#5876001
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21041) - you deserved it (3330)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:29am - intimacy - by Ignitingmylightsaber (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

#5875952
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8639) - you deserved it (22871)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46276) - you deserved it (4870)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML

#5865096
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9856) - you deserved it (44745)

On 10/17/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Ohgreat (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML

#5848296
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41463) - you deserved it (2905)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by xXx (man) - United States (California)

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

#5839165
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24160) - you deserved it (2531)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:16am - animals - by birdhater (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10446) - you deserved it (116757)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

#5775465
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41063) - you deserved it (2673)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by prickly (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally plucked up the courage to propose to my girlfriend of 7 months. I took her out to the park where we had our first kiss, I got down on one knee, and before I could say "Will you marry me" a bird shat on my head. FML

#5755233
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47022) - you deserved it (7117)

On 10/10/2009 at 8:52am - love - by -bird-poop- (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I was pretending to be a monkey for a "documentary". The branch snapped and I fell out of the tree and onto a car roof. It was after school, I fell onto the dean's BMW. The video was on facebook before I regained consciousness. FML

#5737700
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31798) - you deserved it (10760)

On 10/09/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered that the school I transferred from last year is closing. All the people that I so happily escaped from and left behind at that school will now be flocking to my new school senior year. Faaaantastic. FML

#5731008
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40375) - you deserved it (3508)

On 10/08/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Augh. (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML

#5721043
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11386) - you deserved it (34665)

On 10/08/2009 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML

#5716495
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14660) - you deserved it (39941)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:14am - kids - by stupidsantaclaus (woman) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: