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max367

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max367

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 5613
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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max367's page activity

Visits<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - yesterday at 1:51am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:12am<b>clairedabear</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 11:00pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 9:38am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:08pm<b>cheyyeee</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 6:34pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:46pm<b>mrningbrd</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 12:24pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 11:50am<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:58am<b>GxReaperGx</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 1:20pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 7:42am<b>zMEEHANz</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 7:49pm<b>justdontdoit</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:00am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 1:49am<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 7:07pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 9:19am<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 9:35am

Fucked!<b>clairedabear</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 5:00am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:08am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:57am

max367's FML badges

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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max367's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

#19644251
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23659) - you deserved it (4779)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

#19642292
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28030) - you deserved it (2970)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
479 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49441) - you deserved it (4599)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, an exchange student was telling us how he once used a black light to detect semen stains on his "abstinent" ex-girlfriend's face. I called him out on the obvious lie, saying it's an old urban legend. He wigged out, screamed that I'm a "bastarding shite-wank" and ran out of class. FML

#19573864
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18886) - you deserved it (4713)

On 05/04/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by Garry (man) - United States

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

#19405476
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29797) - you deserved it (1772)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:13am - health - by screaming monkey - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29887) - you deserved it (3222)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31345) - you deserved it (19187)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (27395)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (27395)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend was at my house to hang out. When he was leaving I thought it would be cute to run and jump on him to say goodbye. He fell and hit his head. He is now in the hospital with a concussion. FML

#19106653
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14033) - you deserved it (29664)

On 02/18/2012 at 10:49am - love - by sandysmith - United States

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35890) - you deserved it (2720)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML

#19067640
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27367) - you deserved it (3969)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by chlolivia (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25891) - you deserved it (2718)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML

#19023656
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33043) - you deserved it (4131)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:17am - love - by daughterofanazi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butt hole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML

#18973546
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19315) - you deserved it (6184)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:57pm - health - by 11niko (man) - United States (Washington)



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