Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

max367

Offline (51 minutes ago) | Search for a member

max367

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5998
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

max367's page activity

Visits<b>A07</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 3:00pm<b>KatPlaysMC</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 11:19pm<b>Chaith</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 6:15pm<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 2:15am<b>sonsofadmirals</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 7:48pm<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 9:01am<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:51am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:12am<b>clairedabear</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 11:00pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 9:38am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:08pm<b>cheyyeee</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 6:34pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:46pm<b>mrningbrd</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 12:24pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 11:50am<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:58am<b>GxReaperGx</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 1:20pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 7:42am

Fucked!<b>KatPlaysMC</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:36am<b>Chaith</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 12:15am<b>clairedabear</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 5:00am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:08am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:57am

max367's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of max367's badges

max367's favorite FMLs

Today, while reading the paper I saw a picture of a guy I really like that I met online. The picture is in the obituaries. No wonder he hasn't called. FML

#21103818
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47615) - you deserved it (3809)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by kubbyp (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML

#21101967
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40519) - you deserved it (11518)

On 04/01/2014 at 3:21pm - love - by someone (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40801) - you deserved it (19567)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
190 comments

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, a robin flew into my window and died. My mom, being a biology teacher, thought it would be a great experience for my brother and me to dissect it on the kitchen table. She threatened to ground us if we didn't do it. FML

#21054692
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43082) - you deserved it (3869)

On 02/08/2014 at 6:24pm - animals - by sciencesadness (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31860) - you deserved it (39569)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45988) - you deserved it (4949)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46164) - you deserved it (3650)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47645) - you deserved it (4127)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

#20922788
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43794) - you deserved it (14514)

On 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by SaveMeTeddy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56210) - you deserved it (4455)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27506) - you deserved it (81207)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: