max367

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max367

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9498
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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max367's page activity

Visits<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 1:54am<b>Sunshinenwhiskey</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 1:24pm<b>caggybandicoot</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 8:47am<b>oliversoden101</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 5:57pm<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 1:01am<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 3:21pm<b>quazimozart</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 7:09pm<b>TacoMan32</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 11:55pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:31am<b>Sleep_lover654</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 1:43pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 1:20pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:42am<b>nodeathtoall</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:30pm<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 9:05pm<b>idk0002</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 2:08pm<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:54pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 9:42pm<b>NerdyTherapist</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 5:16pm

Fucked!<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 6:36pm<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 3:06am<b>KatPlaysMC</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:36am<b>Chaith</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 12:15am<b>clairedabear</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 5:00am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:08am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:57am

max367's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of max367's badges

max367's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

by whyeventry? / 08/02/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

by accountnamevalid / 07/21/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

by Nick / 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 10:38am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

by DocKreso / 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm / Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska) / Work

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

by myfavoritesgouda / 06/24/2013 at 1:20am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

by breeeeeh / 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm / Love

Today, my mom cut off the legs of all my pants, because she says I don't show enough skin for guys. I'm now forced to wear jaggedly cut shorts that barely cover my thighs until I can buy new ones. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 4:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

by Jill / 06/15/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy