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max367

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max367

5Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 6652
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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max367's page activity

Visits<b>alaillama</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:46am<b>pandoraisme</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:24pm<b>zMEEHANz</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:20pm<b>MyUsernameisEpic</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 4:44am<b>MissEmma</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 6:59pm<b>_awwhellnaw_</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:57pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 3:02pm<b>A07</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 3:00pm<b>KatPlaysMC</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 11:19pm<b>Chaith</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 6:15pm<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 2:15am<b>sonsofadmirals</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 7:48pm<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 9:01am<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:51am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:12am<b>clairedabear</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 11:00pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:08pm

Fucked!<b>KatPlaysMC</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:36am<b>Chaith</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 12:15am<b>clairedabear</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 5:00am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:08am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:57am

max367's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Supersize Menu

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Inception

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max367's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML

#19946239
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21036) - you deserved it (5314)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by dogmom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

#19775546
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29931) - you deserved it (8587)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML

#19774662
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28009) - you deserved it (2036)

On 06/12/2012 at 1:29am - health - by fmmmmlll (woman) - United States

Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML

#19724676
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6047) - you deserved it (45859)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11605) - you deserved it (42888)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

#19644251
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26262) - you deserved it (5123)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

#19642292
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30627) - you deserved it (3260)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML

#19637178
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7751) - you deserved it (38165)

On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
480 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50583) - you deserved it (4720)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30604) - you deserved it (3584)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, an exchange student was telling us how he once used a black light to detect semen stains on his "abstinent" ex-girlfriend's face. I called him out on the obvious lie, saying it's an old urban legend. He wigged out, screamed that I'm a "bastarding shite-wank" and ran out of class. FML

#19573864
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18974) - you deserved it (4720)

On 05/04/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by Garry (man) - United States

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

#19511225
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22620) - you deserved it (2423)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

#19499543
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18650) - you deserved it (9617)

On 04/20/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Ashamed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

#19405476
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29874) - you deserved it (1780)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:13am - health - by screaming monkey - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)



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