Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

max367

Online | Search for a member

max367

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8373
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

max367's page activity

Visits<b>Sleep_lover654</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 1:43pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 1:20pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:42am<b>nodeathtoall</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:30pm<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 9:05pm<b>idk0002</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 2:08pm<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:54pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 9:42pm<b>NerdyTherapist</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 5:16pm<b>derangedplanet</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 9:04pm<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 11:19pm<b>thisguy22</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 3:48am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 7:02am<b>meghancuma</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 9:41pm<b>shnoel14</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 3:02pm<b>alaillama</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:46am<b>pandoraisme</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:24pm

Fucked!<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 3:06am<b>KatPlaysMC</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:36am<b>Chaith</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 12:15am<b>clairedabear</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 5:00am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:08am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:57am

max367's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of max367's badges

max367's favorite FMLs

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

#20969207
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46734) - you deserved it (3670)

On 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm - work - by fuggers :/ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50635) - you deserved it (4399)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

#20922788
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46507) - you deserved it (15534)

On 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by SaveMeTeddy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56421) - you deserved it (3588)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57821) - you deserved it (4595)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28490) - you deserved it (83330)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42120) - you deserved it (2843)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

#20880791
102 comments

Today, my pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on my lap so I could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on my leg. FML

#20874571
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57822) - you deserved it (6640)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:16pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41444) - you deserved it (13949)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56708) - you deserved it (6346)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56293) - you deserved it (12308)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60390) - you deserved it (9901)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45195) - you deserved it (9578)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

#20794280
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59290) - you deserved it (4971)

On 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm - money - by Nick (man) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: