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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I found some charges on my credit card for two round trip tickets to Las Vegas. Turns out my daughter and her stoner, unemployed boyfriend stole my credit card and flew to Vegas over the weekend to get married. I paid for my daughter's elopement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32513) - you deserved it (2805)
On 09/13/2009 at 7:10pm - kids - by Broeman (man) - United States (New York)
Today, when I was finished eating at McDonalds, I went to Shoppers to pick up a new toothbrush. I got back to my car only to find the windows smashed in. The only thing that was missing from my car was the Hello Kitty toy I got from McDonalds. Someone broke into my car for a 10 cent toy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38344) - you deserved it (2426)
On 09/06/2009 at 7:12pm - money - by effmylife (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20897) - you deserved it (12196)
On 09/05/2009 at 3:22am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was driving home from work and noticed the car behind me was tailgating me pretty badly. I was starting to get angry with the driver, and kept glancing in my rear view mirror at him. While I was doing so, the traffic ahead of me stopped, and I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7574) - you deserved it (33067)
On 09/03/2009 at 12:54am - misc - by FenderBender (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to buy a cake for my daughter's birthday. She really loves Twilight, so I decided to get her a vampire-related cake. I wrote down "fangs" as a decoration. The baker thought it said "wangs". My 10 year old daughter's cake has wangs all over it. Her party is tomorrow morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35842) - you deserved it (6632)
On 08/08/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by TheCake - United States (Florida)
Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5942) - you deserved it (60034)
On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37649) - you deserved it (61557)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was cleaning my old neighbor's bathroom, because he asked me to and I didn't want to be rude. Plus, I was getting paid. He told me to "get the floor pearly white." So I scrubbed, and scrubbed, and scrubbed. Turns out the floor tiles are naturally a dull yellowish. I didn't get paid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40089) - you deserved it (4697)
On 07/15/2009 at 6:23pm - misc - by ughhh123456789 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found out why my girlfriend of 8 months has never agreed to stay the night before. Now I have a 4-month old mattress that needs replacing, and a 23-year-old bedwetter for a girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41931) - you deserved it (6060)
On 07/05/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by wetboy (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I sprained my wrist playing Guitar Hero. The ER doctor called all of his coworkers in to hear my story. They all laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15218) - you deserved it (34173)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by Slash (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17798) - you deserved it (192405)
On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I accepted an internship in Chicago and finished my final exams. I decided to play some pick up basketball one last time before summer. Within 2 minutes I got undercut going for a rebound and shattered my knee cap into 3 pieces. My summer in Chicago will be spent in a full leg cast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31994) - you deserved it (2620)
On 05/15/2009 at 12:05am - health - by FourKnees (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22087) - you deserved it (59278)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62365) - you deserved it (3458)
On 05/06/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17656) - you deserved it (32079)
On 04/22/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by fastfingers409 - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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