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mattybstacks

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mattybstacks
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 290
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mattybstacks's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML

#19340135
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13220) - you deserved it (3482)

On 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

#19331410
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19125) - you deserved it (1532)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:44am - work - by ANNIEDBD - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

#19315515
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20453) - you deserved it (3233)

On 03/20/2012 at 6:33pm - love - by anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML

#19309330
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22361) - you deserved it (1957)

On 03/19/2012 at 7:43pm - animals - by bibi (woman) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

#19208526
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10513) - you deserved it (24499)

On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23256) - you deserved it (3955)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

#19035452
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24485) - you deserved it (8113) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2012 at 5:11pm - misc - by Bonapp - France

Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML

#19035174
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26440) - you deserved it (15101)

On 02/09/2012 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML

#19033739
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22605) - you deserved it (15106)

On 02/09/2012 at 11:42am - health - by SocialAnxietyNightmare (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

#18936421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28187) - you deserved it (2187)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31980) - you deserved it (13542)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
182 comments

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

#18474194
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19059) - you deserved it (15802)

On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10329) - you deserved it (41025)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27098) - you deserved it (14179)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)



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