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mattybstacks

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mattybstacks
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 292
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mattybstacks's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

#20057214
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22680) - you deserved it (3053)

On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

#20048959
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30078) - you deserved it (2015)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5723) - you deserved it (43929)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML

#19995451
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15751) - you deserved it (1667)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by joleezad5 - United States (Missouri)

Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML

#19988661
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17678) - you deserved it (1834)

On 07/28/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by em from Cali - United States (California)

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

#19986553
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4783) - you deserved it (33240)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31082) - you deserved it (2703)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9356) - you deserved it (32983)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

#19957248
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4610) - you deserved it (52897)

On 07/19/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom about the severe phobia I've developed towards driving. She was very supportive and even made me an appointment to see a psychologist. His office is two hours away. I have to drive to see my doctor about my fear of driving. FML

#19956535
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18123) - you deserved it (2556)

On 07/18/2012 at 9:29pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

#19942597
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38276) - you deserved it (1747)

On 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22109) - you deserved it (2535)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

#19928485
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22687) - you deserved it (2189)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm - work - by Ian Artis - United States

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30683) - you deserved it (3892)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12501) - you deserved it (23727)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)



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