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matty0407

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matty0407

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 142
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About matty0407 : IM A CANADIAN...EH!

matty0407's page activity

Visits<b>LeHoneyBadger</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 10:27am<b>vrossie_</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 6:21pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 11:53pm<b>BostonBear</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 6:13pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 9:17pm

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matty0407's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

#20431454
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20081) - you deserved it (40157)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after months of dating, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to take things to the next level. He told me that he couldn't have sex with me because of his religious beliefs. I would've been fine with this if it weren't for the fact that I know he and his family are all atheists. FML

#18710247
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32596) - you deserved it (4082)

On 01/04/2012 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34326) - you deserved it (6024)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65315) - you deserved it (3607)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "It's disturbing how good you are at that." FML

#6186656
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24432) - you deserved it (4803)

On 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at work and my mother texted me. The text read, "You take a nice picture." To which I responded, "what picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You are even smiling." FML

#5337998
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8757) - you deserved it (40424)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by asdfas (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my Grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box,"Face this side toward crowd for best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on it's side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML

#2252019
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11291) - you deserved it (53249)

On 05/24/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Tyler_Padgett (man) - United States (Georgia)



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