mattrd

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mattrd

17Fucked!

mattrdmattrd
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 February 1981 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2355
  • Number of comments : 818
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 37 posted

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mattrd's page activity

Visits<b>French_giirl</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 12:09pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 12:43pm<b>angelnursery</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 1:36pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 11:27am<b>gkmd98</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 7:32pm<b>ilytyvm</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 9:20am<b>Baustigt</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 1:05pm<b>LiLMAMA0523</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 2:58pm<b>AudiLover21</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 10:32pm<b>SuperCasual</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 10:08pm<b>Skelator_Jenkins</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 2:50pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 1:24pm<b>That1One1Chick</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 11:11pm<b>meilzz</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 4:12am<b>capscapscaps43</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 10:35pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 3:32pm<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 6:42pm<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 11:43pm

Fucked!<b>Skelator_Jenkins</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 8:50pm<b>That1One1Chick</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 5:11am<b>rhiley</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 12:53pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 6:32am<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 10:29pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 3:46pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 4:18am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 2:30pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:22pm<b>looking4funny</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 5:54am<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:15am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:08pm<b>JasonBB</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:26am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:27am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 7:45am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:02pm

mattrd's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of mattrd's badges

mattrd's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2013 at 12:33pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Love

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

by kittybad / 06/23/2013 at 1:05am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

by me / 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was making lunch, when my two-year-old ran up to me and handed me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending the rest of my day cleaning the entire house. FML

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 11:53am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML

by hdgyfjdzdfg / 04/16/2012 at 2:53am / United States / Love

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

by mimi / 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health

Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2010 at 7:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went shopping with a friend. She picked up a hundred dollars on the floor that somebody dropped. I told her, "I feel sorry for the retard who dropped the money." When I got home, I checked my purse and realized that I was missing a hundred dollars. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 5:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, I was watching my 7 year old daughter and her friend jump on our trampoline. I was really impressed by all the flips they were doing, and I told her "Hey! I can't even do that." To that her friend replied " Of course you can't. You're fat!" FML

by madeyoulaugh / 11/25/2009 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML

by riappp / 02/25/2009 at 10:31am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

by crazyvulva9216 / 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous