mattmalin11

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mattmalin11

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6770
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 49 posted

About mattmalin11 : You know what, here's how we're gonna solve this argument: I'm right and you're wrong. End of discussion.

mattmalin11's page activity

Visits<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 9:13am<b>MethuselahTurtle</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 11:03pm<b>threer</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 4:49pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 3:57pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 5:31am<b>Mobetta_2300</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:54am<b>Kaybabe116</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:21am<b>warsun</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 9:09pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:57pm<b>hscherm22</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:06pm<b>KailaWayla</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:06pm<b>geass_user</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 7:37pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 1:55am<b>damonD9711</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 8:22pm<b>annieowl</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 5:13pm<b>mcomedyman94</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 3:19pm<b>coolstoryhoe1289</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 1:39am<b>mylifemychoices</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 11:29am

mattmalin11's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mattmalin11's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband was looking at a bariatric surgery website and asked him what he was reading. He said, "Oh, your anniversary gift. Surprise!" He wasn't kidding. He got mad when I politely declined his gift, then angrily said "You know, it really hurts when you don't like the things I get you." FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2010 at 8:43pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 8:31pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 12:32am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 5:55am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Animals

Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML

by Telinaa / 11/07/2010 at 9:25pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my twin sister sent a nude picture to her boyfriend, who then forwarded it on to everyone else. Everyone else thinks it's me. FML

by jsquared / 11/05/2010 at 7:17pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2010 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Animals

Today, after moving house, changing my number, my email, and beginning legal action to get away from a girl who was stalking me, I decided to go to the movies to relax. As soon as I got in my seat, that same girl walked into the nearly empty theatre. She sat next to me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2010 at 5:19am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was at Wal-Mart where all the aisles had been moved. An elderly woman asked me where the pet products were, so I told her that I didn't know, but showed her where they could be. An hour later, she came back with security. She'd told them I'd purposefully gotten her lost. They threw me out. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 5:18am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2010 at 7:56pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids

Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

by nothingdoes / 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm / United States / Intimacy