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mattmalin11

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mattmalin11
  • Town/Country : Southern by the grace of God, U.S.A
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 4372
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 49 posted

About mattmalin11 : You know what, here's how we're gonna solve this argument: I'm right and you're wrong. End of discussion.

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mattmalin11's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fired from my job. Apparently getting shot is no valid reason to stay home. FML

#15833093
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55105) - you deserved it (4165)

On 04/18/2011 at 11:09am - work - by davka -

Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML

#15683687
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19021) - you deserved it (2802)

On 04/07/2011 at 7:28pm - misc - by ihateseagulls (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML

#15624701
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25169) - you deserved it (15025)

On 04/03/2011 at 7:20pm - misc - by QWERTY -

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

#15525656
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28110) - you deserved it (5069)

On 03/28/2011 at 1:56am - animals - by upliftmofo - Belgium

Today, my dog started barking very aggressively. Thinking she'd started another gruesome fight with my older dog, I jumped up from the couch, spilling my coffee all over my laptop and dress, and knocked over a vase my grandmother gave me. She was barking at her own shadow. FML

#15298829
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21237) - you deserved it (9624)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:49pm - animals - by spaz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, an aunt that I'd had a massive falling out with passed away. My entire extended family refuses to speak to me, because they think I "had something to do with it". I live several hundred miles from her. FML

#15272926
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23616) - you deserved it (2253)

On 03/11/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by ieatoreos -

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31360) - you deserved it (5398)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents, not trusting me and my boyfriend, told us to call them in the middle of our movie so they could hear it, and prove we weren't up to no good. Well, I called. Just as a raging sex scene started. FML

#14709189
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30253) - you deserved it (10638)

On 01/25/2011 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by totallyscrewedomg - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML

#14587697
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26774) - you deserved it (2654)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66236) - you deserved it (3484)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked to school in -5 degree weather, snow up to ankles, for an exam. The school had closed and warned all the parents, but mine didn't tell me, because it was "funnier". FML

#14283967
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33068) - you deserved it (3943)

On 12/21/2010 at 10:21am - misc - by stupid (woman) - Ireland (Meath)

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

#14255221
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9469) - you deserved it (28247)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by synyster505 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while working as a hotel guard I found a homeless man lying in the grass. I asked him to move and he ignored me, continuing to lie there with his head resting on his arms and a big smile on his face. I got annoyed and started to yell at him. After a few minutes I realized he was dead. FML

#14126104
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28079) - you deserved it (7345)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML

#14085005
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18523) - you deserved it (4612)

On 12/04/2010 at 3:35pm - love - by Pita (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

#14074806
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34701) - you deserved it (4919)

On 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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