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mattmalin11

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mattmalin11
  • Town/Country : Southern by the grace of God, U.S.A
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 4367
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 49 posted

About mattmalin11 : You know what, here's how we're gonna solve this argument: I'm right and you're wrong. End of discussion.

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mattmalin11's favorite FMLs

Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML

#16651474
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43142) - you deserved it (10810)

On 06/13/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by robertsonjimmy - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
448 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41757) - you deserved it (4243)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML

#16628942
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27488) - you deserved it (9457)

On 06/12/2011 at 3:21pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

#16614936
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27582) - you deserved it (6552)

On 06/11/2011 at 6:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

#16609106
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51870) - you deserved it (6585)

On 06/11/2011 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML

#16608434
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38011) - you deserved it (2751)

On 06/11/2011 at 9:06am - health - by sickbaby (woman) - Singapore

Today, my mother-in-law visited the house while my husband and I were at work. When we returned, we discovered she'd shredded and thrown away all the scribbled on papers sprawled on our messy desks. We're graphics designers. Those were rough sketches for about 14 different clients. FML

#16605766
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38618) - you deserved it (2946)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Mirorbo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

#16600238
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26725) - you deserved it (6951)

On 06/10/2011 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog surprised everyone by somehow managing to climb on the roof. I followed him up and spent the next hour trying to catch him. FML

#16597604
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22210) - you deserved it (3535)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:39pm - animals - by crazydog (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29471) - you deserved it (11635)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46323) - you deserved it (7240)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML

#16575897
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31129) - you deserved it (6645)

On 06/09/2011 at 9:22am - health - by IPityTheStool (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25025) - you deserved it (4122)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)

Today, I was under a building overhang to avoid getting drenched by the rain while waiting for the bus. Apparently that corner is notorious for drug dealing, I found this out when a man angrily demanded his drugs and chased me half a block. FML

#16568817
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (2840)

On 06/08/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by DrugDeal (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

#16556165
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48581) - you deserved it (3319)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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