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mattmalin11

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mattmalin11
  • Town/Country : Southern by the grace of God, U.S.A
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 4375
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 49 posted

About mattmalin11 : You know what, here's how we're gonna solve this argument: I'm right and you're wrong. End of discussion.

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mattmalin11's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

#16867812
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8342) - you deserved it (21327)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

#16862726
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43215) - you deserved it (9795)

On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML

#16861259
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34923) - you deserved it (3876)

On 06/26/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by ugly - United States

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37575) - you deserved it (15283)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML

#16860122
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27997) - you deserved it (4687)

On 06/26/2011 at 1:39am - animals - by animallover (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to a party and we all decided to play hide-and-go-seek despite our ages. I started counting. When I was done, I started searching and after 5 minutes of searching, I found that everyone left me. FML

Today, the man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML

#16851607
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24356) - you deserved it (3945)

On 06/25/2011 at 3:41pm - animals - by kk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML

#16848104
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28346) - you deserved it (4571)

On 06/25/2011 at 10:21am - misc - by woahheylex - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32120) - you deserved it (9319)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34063) - you deserved it (4375)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the old lady I've been taking care of and running errands for died. She hadn't paid me yet. FML

#16820204
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19999) - you deserved it (40432)

On 06/23/2011 at 5:40pm - money - by sadcapri96 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

#16812585
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34911) - you deserved it (2671)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:54am - money - by alo1434 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found it under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

#16793307
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13114) - you deserved it (24950)

On 06/22/2011 at 1:48am - animals - by Morgan - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML

#16793164
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46190) - you deserved it (3247)

On 06/22/2011 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses me for two things. 1) My food. 2) My sister. FML

#16765667
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48116) - you deserved it (4958)

On 06/20/2011 at 4:05pm - love - by Maddie - United States (Pennsylvania)



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