About mattmalin11 : You know what, here's how we're gonna solve this argument: I'm right and you're wrong. End of discussion.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16831) - you deserved it (21916)
On 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by IntimidatorStag (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12273) - you deserved it (5314)
On 02/01/2009 at 11:31pm - animals - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52578) - you deserved it (2221)
On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was offered a job. It only took me a year and 17 interviews to get an offer, and I have a PhD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20060) - you deserved it (1924)
On 01/31/2009 at 12:37am - work - by RogerReady - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15811) - you deserved it (3362)
On 01/25/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by Michelle C - United States (California)
Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11458) - you deserved it (8225)
On 01/21/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23285) - you deserved it (1256)
On 01/19/2009 at 6:12am - love - by f'ed_over - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I tried buying a video game that was rated "M - for mature". The Cashier told me "you have to be 17 to buy this game". I didn't have any ID on me. I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13600) - you deserved it (2668)
On 01/18/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at the supermarket everybody was staring at me. After ten minutes, I realized that my umbrella was still open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9672) - you deserved it (9691)
On 01/05/2009 at 5:45am - misc - by didi - Sent from mobile version
Today, and for the last 8 months my upstairs neighbours have been making a tremendous noise. I finally decided to go up to complain: "The amount of noise you make is unbelievable ! It sounds like you're driving tractors up here!". The woman replies: "My husband is paraplegic..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11698) - you deserved it (6536)
On 01/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Jared - Sent from mobile version
Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13982) - you deserved it (3503)
On 12/30/2008 at 11:53am - love - by Noname - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, it has been a year and a half since my boyfriend discovered online poker. Annoyed to see him spending every evening playing on his laptop, I threatened him: “Now honey, you have to choose. It’s your poker or me!” Answer: “You are bluffing!” FML
I agree, your life sucks (41974) - you deserved it (9797)
On 10/25/2008 at 12:54pm - love - by Anonymous -
Monday 17 June 2013
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