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mattmalin11

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mattmalin11
  • Town/Country : Southern by the grace of God, U.S.A
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 4373
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 49 posted

About mattmalin11 : You know what, here's how we're gonna solve this argument: I'm right and you're wrong. End of discussion.

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mattmalin11's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

#16966151
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39362) - you deserved it (3147)

On 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm - health - by wastedbaby - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9678) - you deserved it (41816)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to the lake today or tomorrow because I'd been called in to work. She won't believe me and thinks I'm simply avoiding her. I got called in to bathe and clean dogs' anal glands. FML

#16937181
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22697) - you deserved it (2581)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:23pm - misc - by xXx3mi_MuffinxXx (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31303) - you deserved it (4492)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31303) - you deserved it (4492)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, after weeks, I've finally reached my goal and lost 10 lbs. My sister got jealous about me losing weight, and told my parents and coworkers that I'm anorexic. Hello, intervention. FML

#16931515
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31603) - you deserved it (2557)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:56am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my parents found my stash of alcohol. They drank it all within a single evening. FML

#16921671
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14629) - you deserved it (28694)

On 06/30/2011 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad gave me a speech about being gay. He said he'll accept me if that's who I truly am, but he wants me to think it over first. I'm an actor in a play. I had to explain the concept of wearing costumes and acting like someone else to him. For the third time. FML

#16921062
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29945) - you deserved it (3536)

On 06/30/2011 at 10:36am - misc - by sealpop09 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59485) - you deserved it (6228)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

#16895004
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26894) - you deserved it (3534)

On 06/28/2011 at 8:35am - animals - by hadtocleanthemess (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

#16892674
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35154) - you deserved it (2785)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend tried to climb up to my third story window in the early hours of the morning. Just before he got to the top, he slipped and fell to the ground. My dad had to drive him to the hospital at 3am. FML

#16886506
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28539) - you deserved it (6561)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend eat the dead skin from the soles of her feet. FML

#16879912
557 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62874) - you deserved it (6540)

On 06/27/2011 at 10:56am - intimacy - by footfood (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58160) - you deserved it (7218)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a third date with this guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML

#16868516
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31199) - you deserved it (8909)

On 06/26/2011 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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