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mattm622

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mattm622

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mattm622's favorite FMLs

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML

#21110397
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40260) - you deserved it (3334)

On 04/11/2014 at 4:07pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

#21110266
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40240) - you deserved it (2972)

On 04/11/2014 at 12:38pm - misc - by Cuntlette (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my psycho ex boyfriend, who I broke up with over a month ago showed up at my work yelling and crying because I didn't get him anything for his birthday. My boss now thinks I'm an asshole. FML

#21109350
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41369) - you deserved it (4264)

On 04/10/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by crazytown (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I graduated from Basic Training. I was really looking forward to seeing my family after being away for almost three months. They decided not to come to graduation because they didn't want to spend the money to travel here. They live 30 minutes away. FML

#21108820
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49932) - you deserved it (3296)

On 04/09/2014 at 7:47pm - money - by CheapFamily - United States

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64936) - you deserved it (32512)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19399) - you deserved it (44778)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

#21107985
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61988) - you deserved it (5707)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53269) - you deserved it (4046)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was on the tram, when an elderly couple got on. I stood up to give them room to sit together, but as I stood up, the tram set off and I went flying, knocking the elderly gentleman over. FML

#20707500
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47737) - you deserved it (3949)

On 06/05/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by Bookworm (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

#20685391
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52235) - you deserved it (2830)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by a hex upon your anus, sir (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting in social studies and someone threw a note at me. It said "Go fuck yourself, everyone hates you, just die." FML

#15001242
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47121) - you deserved it (4739)

On 02/16/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by oheyimsarahh - United States



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