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mattiscg

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mattiscg

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 July 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 262
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mattiscg's page activity

Visits<b>hardnerkid</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:13pm<b>KinglyStature</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:16pm

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mattiscg's favorite FMLs

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

#21260160
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31612) - you deserved it (3684)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

#21259449
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34138) - you deserved it (4126)

On 09/16/2014 at 1:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, a customer told me that there was no way he was paying for his shopping. He then walked off. As it turns out, the customer IS always right. FML

#21259221
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30757) - you deserved it (2694)

On 09/16/2014 at 1:04am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

#21258820
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32471) - you deserved it (3459)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, after politely reminding my husband to turn the bathroom light off after he's done, he did so. While I was on the toilet. FML

#21258522
55 comments

Today, my girlfriend texted me saying, "I have some Durex and want your help" so I rushed to her house. She had meant to say "Duluxe". I had to help her paint her bedroom. FML

#21257403
87 comments

Today, I found out my fiancée's been cheating on me. Her excuse? Her ADHD made her do it. FML

#21257049
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37887) - you deserved it (2769)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34336) - you deserved it (2714)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38357) - you deserved it (2541)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40790) - you deserved it (11431)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

#21251846
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39620) - you deserved it (8034)

On 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by candy man - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42994) - you deserved it (4412)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

#21246884
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42676) - you deserved it (4922)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50444) - you deserved it (9714)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)



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