mattiscg

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mattiscg

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : South Bend, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 July 1985 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3512
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mattiscg's page activity

Visits<b>zman8881</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 9:48am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 9:10pm<b>Histayra</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 9:35am<b>fraankiexx</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 2:17am<b>Jowisee</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 4:29pm<b>linderp</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:56am<b>Otohamage</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 3:11pm<b>Sista92359</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 7:44pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 6:08pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 9:49am<b>leogachi</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 2:40am<b>xdattax</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:37am<b>trollcrusher</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 12:50am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 10:50pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 10:06pm<b>melons</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 8:26pm<b>rogwest</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 2:54pm<b>stereomommy</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:16pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 12:34am

mattiscg's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of mattiscg's badges

mattiscg's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was cleaning up after my two year-old, I found a pair of lacy underwear in his toy box. Not only are they not mine, but now I have to ask my husband if he's cheating on me. Or ask my babysitter if she's being having fun, instead of actually babysitting. FML

by Whyme? / 04/27/2016 at 10:39pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend on the lobby's couch. We were not paying attention to anything but each other. Apparently, someone tied our shoes together. I stood up and faceplanted into a pool table. I'm now missing two teeth. FML

by Katt / 04/25/2016 at 2:04pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that'll kill my sex drive, just so she won't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2016 at 8:46am / Switzerland (Graubunden) / Intimacy

Today, my wife's paranoia reached a new level. She spent a half hour fretting over the idea that one of the cleaning ladies at our hotel might have taken a used condom from our room and tried to get pregnant with it. FML

by she won't see a therapist / 04/23/2016 at 12:37am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I guess my son's balls dropped. I've caught him humping his sister's Selena Gomez posters several times today. For god's sake. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 4:14pm / United States (West Virginia) / Kids

Today, my new upstairs neighbors moved in. Within ten minutes of getting in the door they were screaming and arguing about everything, practically handing out death threats to each other. I then heard them having even louder makeup sex for about three hours afterwards. FML

by 12MONTHLEASE / 04/21/2016 at 8:30pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I learned that not texting my girlfriend for two days is considered dumping her, and is ample reason to screw other men. FML

by Singleagain / 04/19/2016 at 8:01am / Sint Maarten (Dutch part) / Intimacy

Today, I twisted my ankle on a mole hill in front of my house. I regularly try to stomp them down so I guess this was retribution. Well played, mole. Well played. FML

by WhoaZombie / 04/18/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally had to accept that I have feelings for a very cute and funny guy. It wouldn't be so bad if he weren't my brother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2016 at 1:56pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, on a train, a little boy and girl come up to me and ask how babies are made. Already pretty uncomfortable with their question, their mother suddenly appears and says, "Go on, tell them!" FML

by Anthony / 04/14/2016 at 7:15pm / France / Intimacy

Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2016 at 9:12am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, my family and I were laying on my parents' bed watching a movie. My dad wrapped his arm around me and began rubbing my shoulder. That would have been fine, if it actually had been my shoulder and not my boob. Needless to say, we were both mortified. FML

by ScarredDaughter / 03/29/2016 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents and in-laws are in a bidding war for the house next door, since we are about to have a son. We're not even sure if we want them living this close. FML

by anonymous / 03/23/2016 at 11:02pm / Kids

Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2016 at 2:24am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was up late and heard my mother and her boyfriend come home. After a full minute of bed-creaking action, I heard him exclaim, "I did it! A new record, haha!" I can't get it out of my head. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2016 at 3:29am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy