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mattiscg

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mattiscg

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 July 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 175
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mattiscg's page activity

Visits<b>hardnerkid</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:13pm<b>KinglyStature</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:16pm

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mattiscg's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46864) - you deserved it (4298)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41457) - you deserved it (3110)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML

#21200603
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40934) - you deserved it (3673)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by idiot bro (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46569) - you deserved it (5568)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48090) - you deserved it (13122)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my mother told me that I was "made" in the bathroom of the store I work at now. She even pointed out which stall. FML

#21155045
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50045) - you deserved it (4249)

On 05/28/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by wow - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML

#21131094
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40286) - you deserved it (4061)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:07am - misc - by melmel (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

#21077048
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60744) - you deserved it (8195)

On 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm - intimacy - by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53270) - you deserved it (6574)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

#21049518
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53068) - you deserved it (5596)

On 02/03/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by well i'm fucked (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

#21045897
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43613) - you deserved it (5570)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:16am - intimacy - by CatBlock (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52315) - you deserved it (31863)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized I willingly support my boyfriend's alcoholism, because the only time he says "I love you" is when he's blind drunk. FML

#21023769
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35516) - you deserved it (15649)

On 01/10/2014 at 6:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53145) - you deserved it (7009)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

#20987856
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48027) - you deserved it (9333)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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