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mattiscg

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mattiscg

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 July 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 209
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mattiscg's page activity

Visits<b>hardnerkid</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:13pm<b>KinglyStature</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:16pm

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mattiscg's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36616) - you deserved it (12929)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML

#21234002
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38139) - you deserved it (6025)

On 08/10/2014 at 12:42pm - love - by painedandpissed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40987) - you deserved it (6043)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

#21233096
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35361) - you deserved it (3086)

On 08/09/2014 at 4:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Malawi

Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML

#21232655
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41011) - you deserved it (6574)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48960) - you deserved it (4730)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42341) - you deserved it (3377)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML

#21200603
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42407) - you deserved it (3933)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by idiot bro (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49667) - you deserved it (6135)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48970) - you deserved it (13662)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my mother told me that I was "made" in the bathroom of the store I work at now. She even pointed out which stall. FML

#21155045
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51863) - you deserved it (4514)

On 05/28/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by wow - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML

#21131094
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40886) - you deserved it (4141)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:07am - misc - by melmel (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

#21077048
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62409) - you deserved it (8497)

On 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm - intimacy - by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53782) - you deserved it (6637)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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