About matthewwehttam : Graphic designer at Mississippi State
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
matthewwehttam's favorite FMLs
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love
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- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his… Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to… Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately,…