mattdevil

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mattdevil

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 913
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mattdevil : Hi, names Matt like coming on here for a laugh. Don't like people to take things to seriously but saying that I must say if you're offencive in anyway, I'll punch you in the vagina :)

mattdevil's page activity

Visits<b>whosthedeadone</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 1:13am<b>Crystayala</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 6:37pm<b>HeXr</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 10:37pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 7:50pm<b>CaptMacLeod</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 4:03am<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 10:26am<b>junjunbun</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 3:54am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:27pm<b>Zeescar</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 3:48pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 2:04pm<b>BlondePsycho</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 8:23am<b>IJG2000</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 2:23am<b>12goldfish69</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:27am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:53pm<b>uncle_jimmy</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 4:56pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 3:01am<b>guskta</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 11:35am<b>woosah</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 3:51am

Fucked!<b>whosthedeadone</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 7:13am<b>ppeanutheadd</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 3:10pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 1:51am<b>junjunbun</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 9:55am<b>TiggyBonkers</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 11:45pm<b>BlondePsycho</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:23pm

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mattdevil's favorite FMLs

Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML

by anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

by mattdevil / 12/08/2011 at 1:57pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

by mattdevil / 12/08/2011 at 1:57pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

by rj93 / 11/05/2011 at 9:43am / United Kingdom (Ballymena) / Health

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

by kdeeeceee / 11/05/2011 at 3:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

by steve-o / 11/02/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML

by ugadawgs09 / 11/02/2011 at 12:32am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

by HOe HOe HOe / 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I had a graded performance in my drama class. I had to play a murderer in an interrogation room. I got really into it and started pounding on the windows to try to "escape". The thin glass smashed. Four hours in casualty, stitches and plastic surgery pretty much sum up my mood. FML

by anonymous / 09/16/2011 at 1:18pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Health

Today, I asked my two children why they smelled like pee after we had gotten lunch at McDonald's. They told me that they were playing in the puddles in the play-place. FML

by Username / 08/23/2011 at 11:55am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

by Andrew / 08/23/2011 at 10:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

by creepedoutlady / 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous