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mattbaker

Offline (the 04/03/2015 at 5:35am) | Search for a member

mattbaker

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 March 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 366
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mattbaker : No one gives a fuck about me,I don't give a fuck about that

mattbaker's page activity

Visits<b>DUB_Speeding</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:07pm<b>BeautifulLiesx</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:08pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 1:04am<b>gmian</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 12:53pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 3:30pm<b>C7</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 1:07am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 11:12pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 1:03pm<b>winchestinalock</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 8:31am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:18am<b>claysculpture</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 1:25am<b>joarasmi</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:41pm<b>Dudebromans</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:07am<b>anal_peach</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 1:37pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 1:06am<b>DizzyDeePoni</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 8:01pm<b>ManateeRex</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:42pm<b>msunique_me</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:12pm

mattbaker's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of mattbaker's badges

mattbaker's favorite FMLs

Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML

#21381191
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31615) - you deserved it (1878)

On 03/25/2015 at 8:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, because I thought I was about to have an asthma attack, I had a panic attack. Then, the panic attack caused me to have a real asthma attack. FML

#21378889
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27918) - you deserved it (3586)

On 03/21/2015 at 11:14am - health - by pikachu_43 - United States (California)

Today, one of the guys I work with ran his finger down the back of my shirt and said, "Just checking to see if you're wearing a bra today". FML

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

#21372435
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26446) - you deserved it (7807)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:55am - kids - by birdisnottheword (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while discussing my grades with my mother, she told me that when she was my age she was dumb but hardworking, and my dad was lazy but very smart. She then added, "You managed to get the worst out of each of us." FML

#21372077
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28406) - you deserved it (3141)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:19pm - misc - by Daughter of the year - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, my boyfriend's little sister told me she hates me. I thought she was just a jealous, whiny tard like most kids are, until she calmly walked over to the wall and headbutted it hard. She burst into tears, ran out of the room, and told my boyfriend I hit her. He believed her. FML

#21369365
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34926) - you deserved it (2873)

On 03/06/2015 at 3:44pm - kids - by single&alone (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was riding my bike home from school, I saw a homeless man sitting on a bench. I was about to walk up to him and give him money, but before I could do anything my mother walked up and kissed him. My mom is dating this guy. FML

#21368890
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35188) - you deserved it (2784)

On 03/05/2015 at 8:38pm - love - by Not Homeless - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29) - you deserved it (74)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

#21366785
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24365) - you deserved it (11852)

On 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm - misc - by Microtron - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48852) - you deserved it (6814)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

#21256116
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43872) - you deserved it (16386)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:33am - misc - by lolwut - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43429) - you deserved it (27743)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43526) - you deserved it (7057)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)



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