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Offline (the 10/07/2016 at 3:28am)



  • Town/Country : San Antonio, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 167
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About matman82 : living in San Antonio and currently serving my country in the air force. I'm a huge gamer btw!

matman82's page activity

Visits<b>ifeelyourpainop</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 9:04pm<b>depressedvixen</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 6:21pm<b>Jesserb</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 12:18am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 3:33pm<b>ccat209</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 10:10am<b>Oliveisthenewora</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 1:23am<b>alymolina</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:41pm<b>Lilo4life</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 4:01am<b>Marynfrankie</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 4:59am<b>lizt</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 2:02pm<b>Courtz55</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 5:45am<b>ScarletSarah</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 7:32pm<b>kenabrookee</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 12:07am<b>LostInSunday</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 2:55am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 1:17am<b>mercedesm</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 11:45pm<b>dguzman92</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 7:19pm<b>classicate</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 4:53am

Fucked!<b>lizt</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 7:22pm<b>dguzman92</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 1:19am<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 2:59am<b>Oliveisthenewora</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 10:03am<b>classicate</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 6:29am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 2:17pm<b>yumyumbiscuits</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 2:21am<b>Beautymarked</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 11:31pm

matman82's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of matman82's badges

matman82's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it from my belt loops too quickly. FML

by LostInSunday / 08/15/2016 at 4:11am / Miscellaneous

Today, I logged on to my Gmail account and to find that my brother had sent my math teacher a picture of Bigfoot peeing into a urinal. Using my account. FML

by Hey, thats not math!? / 08/09/2016 at 4:20pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I received a friend request from a boyfriend I hadn't talked to in 20+ years. A few minutes later he messaged me a picture of himself with a young woman at a strip club. My daughter. FML

by Redhottt6 / 08/04/2016 at 9:24pm / Miscellaneous

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

by Tyler / 11/19/2011 at 3:05am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to Burger King. I was sipping the drink and put it on my window sill to save for later. I fell asleep, and when I woke up my mouth was dry. I took a sip and felt something go into my mouth. Thinking it was an ice cube, I bit down on it. It was not an ice cube. It was a cockroach. FML

by LoLLightning / 06/27/2009 at 3:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

by theguy24 / 01/27/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy