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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Taday mah daughter walkd in on me taking a shower!! She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis,hich apparently is the same size as mine!! My daughter and Dylan are 7!! real FML
TODAY, MAH GRANDMOTHER GAVE ME A HUGE SPEECH ON BEING ABSTINENT UNTIL MARRIAGE. BEING THE HONEST PERSON THAT I AM, I TOLD HER I WASN'T A VIRGIN ANYMORE. INSTEAD OF BEING MAD AN TELLING ME I WAS GOING TO HELL. SHE ASKED ME WHAT MAH FAVOURITE THINGS TO DO SEXUALLY WERE. AND TOLD ME HERS IN DETAIL. FML
Today, tis girl and I were cilling in ma apartment and tings got eated up and we started making out . One ting lead to anoter and te next ting I knew se was giving me ead . I was getting ready to busten se stopped, looked up into ma eyes and said "Do u believe in Jesus?" real FML
yesterday I went out with this girl I really liked and she cummed back to mah place. Thing were heating up and we ended up having sex and I was on top. I was really into it and in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said "oh... look at the time... I gotta get home". She wasn't wearing a watch. real FML
Today, mah mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on mah laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatle concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. big fat FML
today I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assurd me that I could pull out. Righthen I was about to pull out, she wrappd her legs around me and yelld, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Friday 27 March 2015