mastory96

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mastory96

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11354
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mastory96's page activity

Visits<b>alexjoseph5575</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 6:29pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 2:17am<b>TOPsCinderella</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Pr0fess0rWhat</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:54pm<b>emilyhilliard</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 10:21am<b>chrissylee89</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 1:57am<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:28am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:54am<b>eams</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 5:43am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 12:08pm<b>sohigh10</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:58am<b>kambrai0811</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 10:23pm<b>Audiobliss</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 5:50am<b>hazelmonster</b> - the 05/11/2010 at 6:11am<b>spanishflirt6509</b> - the 12/14/2009 at 9:52pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 11:27pm<b>meme3</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 4:43pm<b>KaySL</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 2:57pm

mastory96's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mastory96's favorite FMLs

Today, I was telling my dad about plans to go out late for a few drinks next week. My dad started his usual "YOU COULD GET RAPED!" lecture, before my brother sprang to my defence, "It's not like she's what they're after, is she?" Apparently, rapists are out of my league. FML

by adalia / 07/19/2009 at 1:11pm / United Kingdom (Barnsley) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started day dreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone went up to me and said "Try not to be so obvious". Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML

by lifedoessuck12 / 07/19/2009 at 10:13am / Philippines (Pasay) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it says "I'm here for the quicky". Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2009 at 8:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I received a letter in the mail stating that I had won a trip to Cancun, Mexico. It looked like a scam so I threw it away. I later found out that it was a birthday present from my cousin and the envelope also contained a check for 5 thousand dollars to help cover some expenses. FML

by Unluckyducky / 07/19/2009 at 6:11am / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, my boss asked me if I know anything about those tattoos that girl put on their lower backs. "You mean Tramp Stamps?" I responded. He looked at me with hatred in his eyes and said that his 18 year old daughter just got one. FML

by Eh... / 07/19/2009 at 3:25am / Ukraine (Kyyivs'ka Oblast') / Work

Today, I was waiting in line with a friend, and she poked my stomach and said, "I wish I had your stomach." I asked her why. She said, "Boys wouldn't flirt with me." FML

by Pusillanimous / 07/19/2009 at 1:12am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

by harrysolo / 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML

by blackntangirl / 07/18/2009 at 7:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML

by overachiever / 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I was out to dinner with a friend. When the bill came with a customer satisfaction survey, I put honestly that the "server friendliness" was "below average." Ten minutes later, I had to return to the restaurant to beg the waitress for my keys, which I had left on the table. FML

by lemonadedisguise / 07/18/2009 at 1:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was surprising my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was nude and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

by Meh / 07/18/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I finished a fence around my house that I have been working on all week. About an hour after I finished, a water company truck pulled into my driveway. They told me they would have to take down my fence to make repairs on a water pipe. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2009 at 10:23am / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I found out my driver's license was suspended last year for a DUI ticket that wasn't paid. Apparently, someone had used my identity info to avoid the ticket on their record. The cops showed me the guy's picture taken when he was arrested. It was my brother. FML

by nicefamily / 07/18/2009 at 8:45am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after my son's new friend spent the night, I commented on how his hair had such a straight line in it from one ear to the other. I joked about how he must have fallen asleep with headphones on, or had bad hat hair. He informed me it was a scar from brain surgery he had when he was younger. FML

by insertfoothere / 07/18/2009 at 7:26am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous