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mastory96

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mastory96
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  • Number of visits : 8991
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mastory96's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date night down a dirt road to a field in the middle of nowhere. He packed some blankets, a bottle of wine, and some condoms. He didn't know the dirt road was actually a driveway until all of our clothes were off. FML

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

#4275637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40680) - you deserved it (17971)

On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML

#4156114
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44422) - you deserved it (3688)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by epicc1584 - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone falls silent as my dad begins to pray for our meal. FML

#3882567
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44186) - you deserved it (4702)

On 07/19/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Churizmo - United States

Today, I was telling my dad about plans to go out late for a few drinks next week. My dad started his usual "YOU COULD GET RAPED!" lecture, before my brother sprang to my defence, "It's not like she's what they're after, is she?" Apparently, rapists are out of my league. FML

#3880719
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39374) - you deserved it (4045)

On 07/19/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by adalia (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started day dreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone went up to me and said "Try not to be so obvious". Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML

#3878598
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34884) - you deserved it (9990)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by lifedoessuck12 (man) - Philippines (Pasay)

Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it says "I'm here for the quicky". Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML

#3877886
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62870) - you deserved it (4092)

On 07/19/2009 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received a letter in the mail stating that I had won a trip to Cancun, Mexico. It looked like a scam so I threw it away. I later found out that it was a birthday present from my cousin and the envelope also contained a check for 5 thousand dollars to help cover some expenses. FML

#3877056
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22754) - you deserved it (61719)

On 07/19/2009 at 6:11am - money - by Unluckyducky (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss asked me if I know anything about those tattoos that girl put on their lower backs. "You mean Tramp Stamps?" I responded. He looked at me with hatred in his eyes and said that his 18 year old daughter just got one. FML

#3875775
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43080) - you deserved it (6952)

On 07/19/2009 at 3:25am - work - by Eh... (man) - Ukraine (Kyyivs'ka Oblast')

Today, I was waiting in line with a friend, and she poked my stomach and said, "I wish I had your stomach." I asked her why. She said, "Boys wouldn't flirt with me." FML

#3872340
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41977) - you deserved it (4591)

On 07/19/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by Pusillanimous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a club with my friends. I told my mom that I was going to come back home at 3:00 a.m. At 3:15 a.m., my mom comes to the club, with 2 cops, wearing pyjamas, shouting my name and telling me to come back home. FML

#3872316
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49453) - you deserved it (18635)

On 07/19/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by marcelop - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25963) - you deserved it (58211)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML

#3863732
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45552) - you deserved it (12021)

On 07/18/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by blackntangirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML

#3861516
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68601) - you deserved it (7336)

On 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by overachiever - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

#3856555
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48036) - you deserved it (3252)

On 07/18/2009 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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