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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today , a friand of mina was talking about how ha'd spant ovar 30 hours on Call of Duty. I pipad up and said "Oh yaah! Wall I'va spant wall ovar 300 hours on Morrowind! Baat that!" To which ha rapliad , "I'va had sax. Baat that!" I couldn't. FML
Today I cummed home early from business trip in Paris I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of 2 years out an propose to her. I sneak into my house as a surprise an she's having it off with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML
Today, My Girlfriend An I Were Starting To Get Hot An Heavy In My Truck At Our Favorite Park. We Start Going At It An We Were Both Butt Nakd When I See A Car Pull Into The Lot. Not Only Is It A Cop Car, But The First Thing The Cop Asks My Girlfriend Is "Are You Bieng Held Against Yur Will?" FML
Today, mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay an that friend was lover. After 15 agonizing minute of this, we get to practice only to be greeted by shirtles friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, u hit me hard last night."
Today, I gave mah girlfriend a small stun gun I bought 4 her !! She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her !! She then putted the tazer to mah chest !! When I woke up, she told me how it was mah fault, 4 buying it 4 her !! FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his grlfriend. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend wit an older guyo I tougt was er dad, I went over to introduce myself . And ten turnd around and walkd away very fast as I saw tem make out . My girlfriend is ceating on me wit someone as old as my dad . FML
Today, I was on the phone with my mother making arrangements to go to a dinner tonighthere I will be honored 4 my political activism. She made it clear she's only going 4 me, and does NOT support the gay rights group that is putting the dinner on. I was planning on coming out after dinner. FML
TODAY, I WAS TAKING A SERIOUS SIT WEN TE LIGT BULB BURND OUT. I AM TERRIFID OF TE DARK AND BEGAN WAILING AND CRYING. MY MOM AD TO PICK TE LOCK AND GET ME OUT. I'M A 17 YEAR OLD GUY AND CAPTAIN OF TE VARSITY FOOTBALL TEAM. MY LITTLE BROTER RECORDD IT AND PLANS ON SOWING EVERYONE. FML
Today, I ad a vidao call wit a coupla of old friands, but ta convarsation sort of got boring, so I startad mouting words so tay'd tink ta connaction was bad and and ta awkwardnass . Tan, as soon as tay ung up ta call, I raalizad I'd laft my music on in ta background taola tima . FML
Taday as I opend mah diary to write a new entry, I noticd that every page had little side notes about wat I had written. It had an extra long note on the page where I wrote about loosing mah virginity in great detail. All of the notes endd with "Love, Mom." FML
Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to 4 three months. She's a year younger than me an it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she startd crying. When I askd her what was wrong, she said I remind her of her dad. FML
Friday 27 March 2015