Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mastory96

Search for a member

mastory96

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9412
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

mastory96's page activity

Visits<b>chrissylee89</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 1:57am<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:28am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:54am<b>eams</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 5:43am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 12:08pm<b>sohigh10</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:58am<b>kambrai0811</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 10:23pm<b>Audiobliss</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 5:50am<b>hazelmonster</b> - the 05/11/2010 at 6:11am<b>spanishflirt6509</b> - the 12/14/2009 at 9:52pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 11:27pm<b>meme3</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 4:43pm<b>KaySL</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 2:57pm<b>ohmygeeeeez</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 2:49pm<b>MrTaint</b> - the 10/28/2009 at 1:10am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 10/25/2009 at 1:04am<b>moonlight_daze</b> - the 09/30/2009 at 9:06pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 09/29/2009 at 3:20pm

mastory96's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mastory96's favorite FMLs

Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

#4543711
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46729) - you deserved it (17554)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:50am - love - by slipperyhands (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

#4541941
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47254) - you deserved it (20821)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:13am - love - by Squashed (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to be safe and tested a small dime-sized amount of Nair on my inner arm before using it. I didn't react badly. But as soon as it was washed off from my down-there hair I sure as hell reacted, with small bumpy red dots that look like an STD. FML

#4540987
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33228) - you deserved it (12374)

On 08/15/2009 at 1:22am - health - by Dammit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

#4539697
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121990) - you deserved it (6317)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my drunk uncle threw my brand new iPhone 3GS into my pool, ruining it completely. When I asked him to pay for the 600 dollar replacement cost, he said he wasn't responsible for his drunken actions. All of my family members are on his side. FML

#4539683
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67832) - you deserved it (3844)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:32am - money - by Shadyblood (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML

#4534707
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47248) - you deserved it (2351)

On 08/14/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by BFfail (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month she decided to change her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in the relationship with. FML

#4533889
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46858) - you deserved it (4950)

On 08/14/2009 at 8:39pm - love - by waitthatsnotme (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45730) - you deserved it (3657)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML

#4527001
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44733) - you deserved it (9675)

On 08/14/2009 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by vicgal - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

#4525487
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40377) - you deserved it (21381)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - animals - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

#4525349
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37848) - you deserved it (5775)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59725) - you deserved it (7150)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML

#4523157
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57748) - you deserved it (4811)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was helping my brother clean his room. While putting clothes away, I found a box of thongs. They were mine. FML

#4523037
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51834) - you deserved it (3434)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by haha247 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML

#4516147
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43598) - you deserved it (6795)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: