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mastory96

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mastory96

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  • Number of visits : 9652
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>chrissylee89</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 1:57am<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:28am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:54am<b>eams</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 5:43am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 12:08pm<b>sohigh10</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:58am<b>kambrai0811</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 10:23pm<b>Audiobliss</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 5:50am<b>hazelmonster</b> - the 05/11/2010 at 6:11am<b>spanishflirt6509</b> - the 12/14/2009 at 9:52pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 11:27pm<b>meme3</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 4:43pm<b>KaySL</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 2:57pm<b>ohmygeeeeez</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 2:49pm<b>MrTaint</b> - the 10/28/2009 at 1:10am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 10/25/2009 at 1:04am<b>moonlight_daze</b> - the 09/30/2009 at 9:06pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 09/29/2009 at 3:20pm

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mastory96's favorite FMLs

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

#305736
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66445) - you deserved it (26944)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a man on the train asked me if i had any change. I quickly responded with "no habla engles". He then tapped me on the shoulder and said "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML

#271640
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11712) - you deserved it (128468)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:05pm - money - by nthor (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

#234103
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55526) - you deserved it (17749)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

#180985
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91274) - you deserved it (4705)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:10am - work - by oh_mylanta (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out I could not go to the Philippines because I have never had Chicken Pox. The school took the radical decision to prohibit students who have never had Chicken Pox to leave the college. I am condemned to stay in Hong Kong in some shitty project because I am a healthy young man. FML

#168373
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58542) - you deserved it (3864)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:14am - health - by Swaby (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122649) - you deserved it (22237)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a 32 year old man I had been dating for a few months, finally took me to his place. To my surprise, this bachelor had a huge and very clean home! Also, to my surprise, I met the REAL homeowner. His grandmother, who came home early. We were having sex on her couch at the time. FML

#92006
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53308) - you deserved it (9381)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by x (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on the internet with my Dad looking up information about allergies. I began to type 'allergies' into the Google Search Box and as I typed 'a', the phrase 'amazing sex positions' popped up as a search I had already looked up. My Dad asked me if any of the positions worked out. FML

#21100
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12837) - you deserved it (43456)

On 02/10/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told the man I'm sleeping with I thought my sister was prettier than me. His response: "not significantly." FML

#17490
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14647) - you deserved it (25783)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by xyz (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I discovered my mom has over 20 sites bookmarked on her laptop, all having to do with 'How To Boost Your Insecure Teen's Confidence' or 'How To Help Your Overweight Teen Have A Positive Self Image'. Thanks, mommy. FML

#8629
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28831) - you deserved it (6195)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

#3193
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25299) - you deserved it (5730)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by j4y - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I figured I'd throw my ex-boyfriend a compliment and told him how "gifted" he was below the belt. He thinks he's paying me a compliment when he tells me how much he loves that little roll of skin that pops up over the top of my pants when I sit down. I'm trying to lose weight, asshole. FML

#1700
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20009) - you deserved it (6809)

On 01/19/2009 at 4:21am - love - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML

#1065
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10416) - you deserved it (47268)

On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, as I was taking my three year old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

#142
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58943) - you deserved it (3418)

On 10/29/2008 at 7:57am - kids - by LifeSucks - Canada (Quebec)



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