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mastory96

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mastory96
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  • Number of visits : 8988
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mastory96's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML

#2711154
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27152) - you deserved it (36175)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:54am - misc - by KBO (woman) - Australia

Today, I bought my girlfriend an iPhone. I preloaded it with a bunch of cool apps and stuff and spent a lot and money. She used it to send a text to me 3 hours later saying that she thought we should break up. FML

#2710099
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51893) - you deserved it (5816)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:05am - love - by aasatt22 - United States (California)

Today, I was at a party. The music changed to a slow dance. Everybody grabbed a partner and I was left on the dancefloor alone. Suddenly, this guy walks up to me. I swore that he was going to ask me to dance. He then says: "Could you hold me my drink?" and goes to dance with another girl. FML

#2704619
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46224) - you deserved it (3180)

On 06/07/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113037) - you deserved it (4872)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

#2695663
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23829) - you deserved it (52875)

On 06/07/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Jebus (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, was teacher appreciation day at my school. They played a slideshow of all the teachers. The students cheered wildly for every teacher. When my picture came up, nobody clapped. The whole room was quiet. FML

#2693631
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52323) - you deserved it (23603)

On 06/07/2009 at 3:21pm - kids - by Ignatius (man) - United States (California)

Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML

#2687233
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8706) - you deserved it (109874)

On 06/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML

#2684779
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50515) - you deserved it (6248)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:23am - misc - by apparentlyunattractive (woman) - United States

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML

#2671287
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63053) - you deserved it (6438)

On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML

#2658374
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60788) - you deserved it (4809)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

#2654949
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63150) - you deserved it (7095)

On 06/06/2009 at 7:18am - work - by foretwintie (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

#2637147
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19964) - you deserved it (67453)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while getting ready for work I realized all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale which confirmed I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML

#2390335
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8700) - you deserved it (41237)

On 05/28/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by pathetic (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

#2045344
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61117) - you deserved it (6180)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50488) - you deserved it (17276)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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