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mastory96

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mastory96

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 10793
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mastory96's page activity

Visits<b>alexjoseph5575</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 6:29pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 2:17am<b>TOPsCinderella</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Pr0fess0rWhat</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:54pm<b>emilyhilliard</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 10:21am<b>chrissylee89</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 1:57am<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:28am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:54am<b>eams</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 5:43am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 12:08pm<b>sohigh10</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:58am<b>kambrai0811</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 10:23pm<b>Audiobliss</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 5:50am<b>hazelmonster</b> - the 05/11/2010 at 6:11am<b>spanishflirt6509</b> - the 12/14/2009 at 9:52pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 11:27pm<b>meme3</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 4:43pm<b>KaySL</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 2:57pm

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mastory96's favorite FMLs

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML

#2671287
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70300) - you deserved it (7123)

On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML

#2658374
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67673) - you deserved it (5444)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

#2654949
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72216) - you deserved it (8038)

On 06/06/2009 at 7:18am - work - by foretwintie (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

#2637147
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23878) - you deserved it (73508)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while getting ready for work I realized all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale which confirmed I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML

#2390335
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12353) - you deserved it (57563)

On 05/28/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by pathetic (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

#2045344
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73047) - you deserved it (8222)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61421) - you deserved it (22763)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I wanted to change out of my bikini for the ride home from the beach. There wasn't a bathroom near, so I went to change in front of a suburban, parked far away from all the people. I took off my suit, hear the car's horn honk, only to find that the car was completely packed with old men. FML

#1141291
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15814) - you deserved it (67135)

On 04/20/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by steph (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was reminded that I used by dad's camera all summer to take naked pictures for boyfriend when my dad sent me an email saying: "FYI: when you delete pictures directly off the camera they get uploaded as trash files when the camera is connected to the computer." He saw them all. FML

#892613
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21218) - you deserved it (82973)

On 04/09/2009 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

#661322
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71498) - you deserved it (37398)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

#500940
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67906) - you deserved it (9992)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32608) - you deserved it (118283)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

#305736
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70885) - you deserved it (29147)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a man on the train asked me if i had any change. I quickly responded with "no habla engles". He then tapped me on the shoulder and said "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML

#271640
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13957) - you deserved it (137868)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:05pm - money - by nthor (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

#234103
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60281) - you deserved it (18890)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)



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